In another forum, to which we "outies" are not supposed to respond, a bewildered lovely pondered why it is that men tend to be growly when they first arrive home from work. Although I couldn't respond there, the question has been on my mind, and seemed worthy of at least a hypothesis in answer. Here goes ...
Official Non-Doctrinal Hypothesis of the Day:
It occurs to me that, just as there is an opposite of Love (Hatred? Indifference? Fear?), so there might be an opposite of Intimacy.
Further, I hypothesize that Competition is the opposite of Intimacy, because if one offered truly intimate self-revelation to one's competitors, one would have no way to tell if the same had been offered in return, and thus there is just cause for fear of having given away a key advantage.
Now we've all heard that men and women are created and hard wired different in our thinking. We've also heard that men tend to look outward at the world, which they are supposed to conquer (in some small way), while women tend to look inward, by nature, to the home, nesting, nurturing. All well and good.
Could the simple truth be that a man (generally) lives in a competition mindset all day while attempting to conquer his small corner of the world, then comes home and has to re-boot his thinking into the safe, nurturing mindset before he can engage in emotional intimacy? And since they are 180 degrees apart, that is both confusing to him and takes some time? Maybe he even doesn't do too well at it?
Ooo, ooo! What if this is one of the causes of breakdown in the family? In the past, one (or more) member(s) of the family at least spent most of their day in their nature of nurture, and understood that hubby was crossing into unfamiliar territory when he tried to do so of an evening, after a day of competition. What if nowadays, women work but often at jobs where nurture or teamwork is valued, then come home to slip into their true nature but, since they have little difficulty slipping back from the foreign to the natural, they are finding it harder to understand why fellas can't make the same transition, in the same direction, across the same line, 'cause it involves us slipping from OUR natural into the foreign (but oh! so desperately needed).
Solution? Dunno. Ask Sir BumbleBerry! He's the smarty-pants around here!
Anyway, there's a theory for the day.
Official Non-Doctrinal Hypothesis of the Day:
It occurs to me that, just as there is an opposite of Love (Hatred? Indifference? Fear?), so there might be an opposite of Intimacy.
Further, I hypothesize that Competition is the opposite of Intimacy, because if one offered truly intimate self-revelation to one's competitors, one would have no way to tell if the same had been offered in return, and thus there is just cause for fear of having given away a key advantage.
Now we've all heard that men and women are created and hard wired different in our thinking. We've also heard that men tend to look outward at the world, which they are supposed to conquer (in some small way), while women tend to look inward, by nature, to the home, nesting, nurturing. All well and good.
Could the simple truth be that a man (generally) lives in a competition mindset all day while attempting to conquer his small corner of the world, then comes home and has to re-boot his thinking into the safe, nurturing mindset before he can engage in emotional intimacy? And since they are 180 degrees apart, that is both confusing to him and takes some time? Maybe he even doesn't do too well at it?
Ooo, ooo! What if this is one of the causes of breakdown in the family? In the past, one (or more) member(s) of the family at least spent most of their day in their nature of nurture, and understood that hubby was crossing into unfamiliar territory when he tried to do so of an evening, after a day of competition. What if nowadays, women work but often at jobs where nurture or teamwork is valued, then come home to slip into their true nature but, since they have little difficulty slipping back from the foreign to the natural, they are finding it harder to understand why fellas can't make the same transition, in the same direction, across the same line, 'cause it involves us slipping from OUR natural into the foreign (but oh! so desperately needed).
Solution? Dunno. Ask Sir BumbleBerry! He's the smarty-pants around here!
Anyway, there's a theory for the day.
