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Husband wants to wait to have children until he has more wives... I don’t want to wait!

Oak2410

Oak2410

New Member
Female
Hello everyone. Well my husband and I are having issues. A couple months ago my husband promised me that we could start trying for a child . Well yesterday he told me he wanted to wait to have more children until he had 1 or 2 more wives. I was shocked and stunned! I feel so heartbroken. It could years before we find a sister wife and I’m not getting any younger. When I ask him his reasoning on this he Dosent really give me a straight answer. He has mentioned it would be “easier” to take care of children if we had more wives.
He tells me I should be greatful that we already have 1 child together because some couples can’t have children. While we are blessed with a daughter I have always wanted a big family. I’m starting to feel some resentment and anger towards him.
Any ideas on what to do?
 
My advice is to let go of your anger and resentment towards him. The calling of a wife is submission, therefore submit!

It will do very little good to strategize on how to change your husband's mind, all that leads to is bitterness and conflict. If he is unreasonable and going back on his word, that is between him and God, don't carry that burden on yourself as well!
And if you must try to change his mind: the biblical recipe for this is in 1 peter

"1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct."

If he isn't giving you a straight answer, he doesn't want to be challenged on it for whatever reason. Win him without a word.
 
This doesn't make sense to me. It sounds like there may be a lack of communication in your house. If you're wanting PM then you've definitely BOTH got to work on the communication. It's rare that a man is that erratic, so I think something's been missed along the way. Otherwise, what Slumber said, give him some time, submit, and it will all work out.

And welcome to Biblical Families! We have a ladies chat on Monday nights at 7.30pm Eastern that you're welcome to attend. And see if your husband would like to join up here, I'm sure he'd get a lot out of chatting with the men and even reading old posts.
 
Children are an amazing blessing, not wanting additional blessings ?
Not being able to have a child is a curse
Woman in our society effectively go to the doctor and ask for a curse to avoid blessings
Don't take the curse
Always be submitted warm and inviting to your husband
Leave the rest to your husband and God ;)
Time waits for no man
Who knows what God has in store for us
Somethings may never happen
That's intentionally ambiguous :)
 
Start studying how contraception actually works, and whether it's biblically permissible. All forms of hormonal contraception, and IUDs, run the risk of at least some of the time allowing conception to occur (the creation of a new life), but then kill that life by preventing implantation in the womb. Go far down this rabbit trail and you'll probably both conclude that whatever you are doing to stop yourselves having kids is not morally / biblically permissible.

That will leave you with only barrier methods and natural family planning as options. And because both of those are frustrating for different reasons, you'll eventually break the rules with either and end up pregnant.

Problem solved. :-)
 
FollowingHim said:
Start studying how contraception actually works, and whether it's biblically permissible. All forms of hormonal contraception, and IUDs, run the risk of at least some of the time allowing conception to occur (the creation of a new life), but then kill that life by preventing implantation in the womb. Go far down this rabbit trail and you'll probably both conclude that whatever you are doing to stop yourselves having kids is not morally / biblically permissible.

That will leave you with only barrier methods and natural family planning as options. And because both of those are frustrating for different reasons, you'll eventually break the rules with either and end up pregnant.

Problem solved. :)
Click to expand...

Your way too practical lol
 
FollowingHim said:
That will leave you with only barrier methods and natural family planning as options. And because both of those are frustrating for different reasons, you'll eventually break the rules with either and end up pregnant.
Click to expand...

Barebacked ovulation sex is the best sex.

Not that I endorse such methods to overcome your husband's will in the matter.

But either way, stay far far away from bitterness and resentment, they are soul killers. You don't want to go down that path.
 
rockfox said:
But either way, stay far far away from bitterness and resentment, they are soul killers. You don't want to go down that path.
Click to expand...
Amen!
Seriously, @Oak2410, you are in a straightup fight for your soul.
You will either come out of this as a jewel fit for His Kingdom, or as a hot mess. The choice is yours.
 
All of this advice would be extremely helpful for you to follow. You may also want to see if your husband would be willing to make an appearance on here to recieve counsel from the many amazing folks here that take the time to listen and share. I would be careful about doing so in a manner that he might take it as you pressing the issue. The last thing a man determined to do something needs is a woman wrestling with him. I pray harmony and wisdom will be cultivated in your home. Shalom.
 
We have 5 children. I only wanted 2 when we got married. Although we did very little to prevent pregnancy. Things happened without planning. We actually would have 7 if not for miscarriages... It wasn't until recently that the Lord got ahold of me about this issue and now I desire to have as many as possible... I am thankful that God gave me 5 children in spite of my selfish desires in the beginning of my marriage. I recognize the amazing blessing and potential impact on the world that my children can be. I also recognize that Genesis 1:28 was the first recorded God given command to the human race. And I think it a bad idea to ignore it...

I say all that to say you should be praying that God changes your husbands heart on the matter... But you should personally be careful not to be a nag about it and also be careful not to allow bitterness in your heart. Satan would like nothing more than to drive a wedge between you and your husband. And eventually destroy the entire relationship...
 
Oak2410 said:
Hello everyone. Well my husband and I are having issues. A couple months ago my husband promised me that we could start trying for a child . Well yesterday he told me he wanted to wait to have more children until he had 1 or 2 more wives. I was shocked and stunned! I feel so heartbroken. It could years before we find a sister wife and I’m not getting any younger. When I ask him his reasoning on this he Dosent really give me a straight answer. He has mentioned it would be “easier” to take care of children if we had more wives.
He tells me I should be greatful that we already have 1 child together because some couples can’t have children. While we are blessed with a daughter I have always wanted a big family. I’m starting to feel some resentment and anger towards him.
Any ideas on what to do?
Click to expand...
Well if you don't have wife now. Maybe I can help and be wife to him and sister wife to you let me know email me at <mod redacted> or text me but email better.
 
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