In some cases a woman who does not believe or is not consistently applying biblical headship principles will try and use the avenue of polygyny to still dominate her head. How is this done or how might it be done?
One of the ways in which this is done is by the woman being the one to ultimately or primarily determine who will and who will not be allowed to be the new mate. At times a woman who is insecure or still seeking to control and manipulate the man will use her skills to find another woman to join the family so that the two or more women can rule the roost together. When fear overtakes the heart of a woman she will seek to find someone she is comfortable with and one that is like her in hopes she will not have to grow or be challenged by having to learn how to deal with someone different than she is.
At times she will be the one on the look out for another lady so she can choose a lady to her liking and the motive behind this is so she can stay and remain in control. The heart deceives her and she is sometimes thinking along these type of lines: "If I can pick the lady I will have control over the family and I can keep the family safe and on the right track."
Still even at other times a woman will finally admit this issue of polygyny is indeed a biblical option but will then use the option to her own ends. She will agree to the lifestyle with her head but then coax him into letting her be the one to go out and pick the woman. It is again an issue about wanting to dominate, to control. It goes back to the issue the Lord spoke of in Genesis when he said that after the woman fell into sin that her desire would be for her head/man. Due to sin a woman wants to be in the man's role and she has inclinations that way due to the depravity of the heart. Her desire for her man is the desire to be in the place of the man, i.e. in the ruler's positions.
But the danger behind this approach where a woman seeks to take the reigns of building the family is that it reveals insecurity and at times even an issue that she does not trust her head. Those issues need to be resolved and all men who oversee a woman's heart need to be aware of that lurking around. If it shows up there is a need to deal with those issues biblically and with Holy Spirit wisdom.
Furthermore, if the woman does not trust her man, her head, to make a good choice that needs to be explored. Asking why and receiving honest feedback can help identify issues that need to be examined. There indeed may be sin issues in the heads life that would lead to a bad choice. But these need to be examined biblically and not hidden and used as manipulations to try and control the man. But rather instead of seeking to control the man the woman can approach the man like Esther did with the King, i.e. in faith and with trust that when she makes a biblical case that God is powerful enough to move on the man's heart for the good and for the good of the family (like God did for his family Israel through Esther's effort).
Does that always mean the man will make a good choice? No it will not. But look at God and how he handled the first man Adam. God could have intervened and even chopped down the tree of good and evil to keep the man from making a bad decision. But for some reason God saw that it was better to let the man learn, even if it meant some serious suffering from the bad decision. In God's eye growth in grace is more important than momentary pleasure. The growth of a man is the first and foremost desire of a godly woman as she seeks the good of her man all the days of her life. A godly woman wants her man to grow as she knows grows means great reward for him on the day of judgement and for her in helping him unto that end.
Sure, wise people who walk in the Lord will do all they can to avoid purposefully walking into a bad situation. But there is indeed wisdom in letting a man be a real man and letting him lead. God for sure thought it to be a good thing to let Adam be a leader even though he knew very well with perfect omniscience that what Adam was about to do would be painful.
Therefore, a godly woman will seek to entrust herself to the sovereignty of God (see 1 Peter 3) as to her source of strength and not to her own cleverly disguised schemes where she manipulates her social circumstances by being the ultimate or primary leader in finding another mate in order to fulfill her drive to be the one in control of her man and home.
One of the ways in which this is done is by the woman being the one to ultimately or primarily determine who will and who will not be allowed to be the new mate. At times a woman who is insecure or still seeking to control and manipulate the man will use her skills to find another woman to join the family so that the two or more women can rule the roost together. When fear overtakes the heart of a woman she will seek to find someone she is comfortable with and one that is like her in hopes she will not have to grow or be challenged by having to learn how to deal with someone different than she is.
At times she will be the one on the look out for another lady so she can choose a lady to her liking and the motive behind this is so she can stay and remain in control. The heart deceives her and she is sometimes thinking along these type of lines: "If I can pick the lady I will have control over the family and I can keep the family safe and on the right track."
Still even at other times a woman will finally admit this issue of polygyny is indeed a biblical option but will then use the option to her own ends. She will agree to the lifestyle with her head but then coax him into letting her be the one to go out and pick the woman. It is again an issue about wanting to dominate, to control. It goes back to the issue the Lord spoke of in Genesis when he said that after the woman fell into sin that her desire would be for her head/man. Due to sin a woman wants to be in the man's role and she has inclinations that way due to the depravity of the heart. Her desire for her man is the desire to be in the place of the man, i.e. in the ruler's positions.
But the danger behind this approach where a woman seeks to take the reigns of building the family is that it reveals insecurity and at times even an issue that she does not trust her head. Those issues need to be resolved and all men who oversee a woman's heart need to be aware of that lurking around. If it shows up there is a need to deal with those issues biblically and with Holy Spirit wisdom.
Furthermore, if the woman does not trust her man, her head, to make a good choice that needs to be explored. Asking why and receiving honest feedback can help identify issues that need to be examined. There indeed may be sin issues in the heads life that would lead to a bad choice. But these need to be examined biblically and not hidden and used as manipulations to try and control the man. But rather instead of seeking to control the man the woman can approach the man like Esther did with the King, i.e. in faith and with trust that when she makes a biblical case that God is powerful enough to move on the man's heart for the good and for the good of the family (like God did for his family Israel through Esther's effort).
Does that always mean the man will make a good choice? No it will not. But look at God and how he handled the first man Adam. God could have intervened and even chopped down the tree of good and evil to keep the man from making a bad decision. But for some reason God saw that it was better to let the man learn, even if it meant some serious suffering from the bad decision. In God's eye growth in grace is more important than momentary pleasure. The growth of a man is the first and foremost desire of a godly woman as she seeks the good of her man all the days of her life. A godly woman wants her man to grow as she knows grows means great reward for him on the day of judgement and for her in helping him unto that end.
Sure, wise people who walk in the Lord will do all they can to avoid purposefully walking into a bad situation. But there is indeed wisdom in letting a man be a real man and letting him lead. God for sure thought it to be a good thing to let Adam be a leader even though he knew very well with perfect omniscience that what Adam was about to do would be painful.
Therefore, a godly woman will seek to entrust herself to the sovereignty of God (see 1 Peter 3) as to her source of strength and not to her own cleverly disguised schemes where she manipulates her social circumstances by being the ultimate or primary leader in finding another mate in order to fulfill her drive to be the one in control of her man and home.
