Help! Been fighting PM conviction for 2yrs

[The Protector]

I cannot shake this pm conviction. Why? Is there anyone here that has prayed for God to take away their interest/desire for PM and had it happen?

There's no wife to cheat on, I'm not even married yet!!! I always thought of myself as a passionate, soulmate, one woman sort of fellow. I've even been avoiding meeting Christian girls lately and making excuses to friends that are trying to set me up and girls that I go out with.

I do not want to be alienated from my family and friends and church. I don't want my future wife to be alienated from hers.

This would be a lot easier if you guys would not act so normal like real people and you wouldn't have professors and theologians reading the same thing from the Bible that I do. It would be easier if there was a New Testament condemnation of it and I could just call you guys and my heart sinful and wierdos but I can't.

My church forbids this. My pastor pointlessly preaches against it, probably because it's easy to condemn.

Ever since I was a kid, I had the thought that they never repudiated Old Testament polygamy. I asked questions about this but I never got an answer.

I'm thinking about going to the convention this year but I know it will only make it worse.

The more I think about it , the more I think about the reasons that I am a good fit for PM. Someone please tell me that it's all wrong and that I should be celibant or monogamous! The black and white answer is easier than the complicated biblical one.

What is wrong with me? Does any one else feel this way? Any girls?

 

[steve]

you could talk to victor over on the gematria thread, i think that he has the answers that you are looking for.

 

[CecilW]

Awwww! Why not quit fighting? :lol:

 

[Mark C]

Before I read this thread, I was sure it had to be about some poor fellow fighting against the Tyranny of a God-hating Evil State. Surprise!

What it seems to boil down to instead is "why would anyone resist knowing His Truth, as Written?"

Why, indeed.

 

[Nikismom]

Sounds to me like You would gain peace by just relaxing and ALLOWING God to work in your life and see what kind of doors open up into you.

God will open hearts of family and women. If a woman is open to listening to God, He is already preparing someones heart to be your wife/wives. Sometimes God just wants you to KNOW his Truth, you never really know what the future holds.

Stop living in fear and allowing the enemy to steal your joy!

 

[ravmoshe]

start with one and pray for the others

 

[Tlaloc]

I cannot shake this pm conviction. Why? Is there anyone here that has prayed for God to take away their interest/desire for PM and had it happen?

A few people have in some ways. There is kind of a 'once you know you can't go back theme'

There's no wife to cheat on, I'm not even married yet!!! I always thought of myself as a passionate, soulmate, one woman sort of fellow. I've even been avoiding meeting Christian girls lately and making excuses to friends that are trying to set me up and girls that I go out with.

There are quite a few 'single polygamists' here too It would be tough avoiding good Christian women though. I've never manadged to do that.

I do not want to be alienated from my family and friends and church. I don't want my future wife to be alienated from hers.

It's no good to live without a community. My wife and I have told our friends and family gradually over the course of years, we still have a few left (her parents, ouch). My pastor knows I am not opposed to it, and we've debated marriage a few times, this issue included, but we haven't announced our intentions to our church yet either. (not that we would make a formal announcement, but I know no one knows we pursue polygamy actively)

Here, in SK, Canada, with my freinds and family, we have a lot of support. Some of it came right away because 'there is a freind that sticker closer than a brother' and we have some really cool and interesting relatives on both sides. Some of it took some debate and settled down at a tolerance. Some might go very badly in the long run (my mother is still in the debate phase, and her parents do not know yet). There, in "The South" It's going to be a much harder road for you, even if you are even more tactful and wise about the topic than we are. (Hey, our main worry right now is a person who lives in Arizona, AKA, "The South")

Losing some people is probably going to be a sad reality for us too, but we made sure not to be alienated. I don't know what your freinds and family are like, and I expect one way or another you will have a hard time. I don't know what encouragement I can offer you here, other than to say it is possible to keep some freinds and family (even most of them) for some Christian polygamists.

This would be a lot easier if you guys would not act so normal like real people and you wouldn't have professors and theologians reading the same thing from the Bible that I do. It would be easier if there was a New Testament condemnation of it and I could just call you guys and my heart sinful and wierdos but I can't.

Imaginary people are much easier to argue with. People of all stripes, us included, fall into that trap.

Ironically, when I'm hanging out with people being myself I get people saying 'you're weird' but the same people upon finding out I'm poly suddenly says 'but how, you're so normal' Normal is a setting on a dryer.

My church forbids this. My pastor pointlessly preaches against it, probably because it's easy to condemn.

My church probably would, but there is nothing in our constitution that actually forbid it, so technically I'm ok. My pastor has not yet preached against it per se, when doing exposition he has pointed out when it caused obvious problems (Rachel\Leah) but that's kind of hard to argue with [He has not said its sin based on this, and I don't think any of us deny there are poly related problems, its just they are not necessarily worse than marriage related problems in general]. Several layteachers have spoken against it, but I wasn't there for those to debate them, I just heard of them when asking what the morning speaker said.

Ever since I was a kid, I had the thought that they never repudiated Old Testament polygamy. I asked questions about this but I never got an answer.

Me too, but I had long debates. They ended with the point that 'no woman would want it', and at that point I didn't know much about what women wanted, so I let it go for years. Then my wife proved to me that some women do want it, and the final objection was removed.

I'm thinking about going to the convention this year but I know it will only make it worse.

You're lucky you're close to some.

The more I think about it , the more I think about the reasons that I am a good fit for PM. Someone please tell me that it's all wrong and that I should be celibant or monogamous! The black and white answer is easier than the complicated biblical one.

Honestly, any decent Christian man is a good fit for PM, though you may be better than most for you're own reasons. But any decent Christian man is a good fit for a great many things, he has to choose what he wants and learn where God is leading him. Liberty is a kick in the teeth sometimes isn't it?

Send me a message if you like, or post whatever is on you're mind. You'll get no black and white answers here, the group is WAY too diverse for that. The only common thread among upstanding members is faith in Christ, Scripture, and belief that polygamy is acceptable. From there we have everything from Greek Orthodox to Lutheren to Protestant to crazy far out there Independent Baptists (And if John Witten reads this, if you are offended take it as referring only to me, if you are not offended take it as regarding both of us).

 

[Anonymous]

From there we have everything from Greek Orthodox to Lutheren to Protestant to crazy far out there Independent Baptists (And if John Witten reads this, if you are offended take it as referring only to me, if you are not offended take it as regarding both of us).

Not offended at all. I find it quite descriptive and glad I'm not the only one considered so. :lol:

 

[sicouple]

In response to the OP..

I know exactly where your coming from because I have been there and in a lot of ways am still dealing with a lot of what you talked about.. I was not raised in a poly family and it wasn't taught to be wrong by my parents but not right either basically it was a none issue. We always just read the bible for what it teaches.. It wasn't until I started to grow up that the matter was brought up and from all I had ever read or been taught my feeling was that polygamy was never frowned upon by the Father or in his word so when hearing it was wrong I started to look into it and ask the question, where/why does so many Christian churches get the belief it is wrong? To this day there has been no answer to that question that comes out of Gods word.

See the question is not rather someone believes in Polygamy, the question is, are you one of those that believe against it? In the natural order with no teaching on it either for or against, there would be polygamy.. Laws are restrictions of what we can't or shouldn't do, not what we should do. There is no need to believe in something that comes natural to us, beliefs are set up around laws of things that are not natural and that we shouldn't do. So there really is no need for a belief in polygamy, there is a belief against it and that being the case those who believe against it should be able to show why they believe God is against it.. Does that make sense? It is said I believe in polygamy but that is not entirely accurate because I don't have a belief that everyone is called to have more then one wife.. I just know some have been and some are called to have more then one, so I don't believe it is outside of our creators plan and therefore it certainly is not a sin. So basically it is still a none issue, Gods law’s for a husband and a wife are the same rather a man is called for 1 or multiple wives. Sure it brings about some different obstacles in the relationship but every Godly union has its own unique circumstances.

Now, this was true for me but when I reached an age of seeking for my ordained helpmate I knew there was a fair chance she would be of the belief polygamy was wrong. So I was honest from the start with her and it wasn’t that I told her I would take more wives but that if God had that planned for me I would not tell him no nor could I even if I wanted too.. Gods will is not dependant on us being on board, our life is easier when we are on board but none the less, His will is going to be done rather we like it or not. It is pointless to fight His will because that is a battle we can’t win, Jonah among many others could attest to that.

In other words she knew right from the start I would never be able to make a vow to only be with her for the rest of my life because I simply didn’t know what God had in store for me/us tomorrow. I also reassured her if we were totally looking to God, we both would want to take a sister wife if it were His plan for us and as long as we found our fulfillment in doing His will it wouldn’t have to be a struggle at all for either if that was his plan. We both would then see it as a blessing and not a curse.

Taking a wife(s) is not like going to the grocery store and picking one out. You don’t take a wife then commit to her, you take her to wife because you are already committed to her for who she is. If you meet your helpmate you understand it is Gods plan for the 2 of you to walk together as 1 on the path He has for you. Any hardships she has in this life is also your hardships and you wouldn’t have it any other way because you love her with a love that is well beyond any human emotion. If you believe it may be the Fathers plan for you to have more then 1 wife, you must also believe it is His plan for you to have the 1st wife.. These women will be uniquely created for you by the Father and its your responsibility to help them in this life unconditionally, So how could we consider rejecting the 1st wife God has for us any more then we could consider rejecting the 2nd? If it were truly your choice to do so then rejecting the second would be as simple as you no longer wanting a second. If you believe the feeling you have wont go away because its from God, then you must also believe that your insight into it is not from you but from the Father. Try to stop worrying so much about it, God has a plan for you and your future wife(s) as long as both of you are looking to him Your 1st wife will be able to accept the second because you have to remember, if it is His plan for you, its His plan for her too