Gender based Marriage Vows

[CecilW]

Was texting a member last night and the following popped out of my fingertips. On reflection I thought it was good. I believe it to be Biblical, and could defend it with texts, but it's way too hot out, and most of y'all know 'em anyway, and if not, give a holler and I'll dig 'em up. ... *grin*

The idea is that regardless of the little phrases the pastor tends to repeat and have us say "I do" to, (did my "WOOF!" count?) when we marry we are making vows to be a Godly husband or wife according to the model laid down in Scripture. And in that regard, they are rather different and opposite but complementary. To wit:

What we find in the Bible is that in God's model, a woman's marital vow is about respect, submission, and exclusivity so long as the marriage lasts. Love is assumed due to her nature.

Au contraire, a man's vow is about love, leadership, and longevity. Respect is assumed due to his nature.

Respectfully submitted for discussion,
Cecil

 

[CecilW]

My subsequent further thought on this was the realization that I don't particularly relish the responsibility of leadership. I don't like being told what to do, nor telling others.

Nonetheless, that is part of my underlying marital vow as a man, and a part that I have failed to perform as badly as some men charge their wives with failure to submit. I was already thinking about it from this business of the vows when RevGill posted his 16 questions for women to consider. Ooph! Best not complain at my wife or wives for failure to follow when I got a failure to lead.

 

[Revgill87123]

Aww come on brother all we can do as men is to try to do the best we can learn from mistakes keep in the word to become a better man every day!

My subsequent further thought on this was the realization that I don't particularly relish the responsibility of leadership. I don't like being told what to do, nor telling others.

Nonetheless, that is part of my underlying marital vow as a man, and a part that I have failed to perform as badly as some men charge their wives with failure to submit. I was already thinking about it from this business of the vows when RevGill posted his 16 questions for women to consider. Ooph! Best not complain at my wife or wives for failure to follow when I got a failure to lead.

 

[Anonymous]

Cecil,
As soon as you get everything right at the same time, let me know so I can find out how you did it. If you can remember the combination. Seriously, leadership is a difficult task for many men, to do right. IMHO, it is more about being out front, taking the heat and guarding the gate than it is about telling others what or how to do. What think ye?

 

[Taller on my knees]

@ John,

That certainly sums it up for me.....especially guarding the gate and taking the heat.

 

[mrscottyl]

My subsequent further thought on this was the realization that I don't particularly relish the responsibility of leadership.

Cecil, you bring up a good point. There are those that are natural leaders, and others who struggle in this role. A good friend of mine told me once that just as a wife is a work in progress all through out the marriage, so is the husband. We are all learning and growing together, and there are things that we all have to work on.

Shabbat Shalom,
Scott

 

[steve]

Au contraire, a man's vow is about love, leadership, and longevity. Respect is assumed due to his nature.

from my perspective;
1) a woman can (and all too often does) love a man without respecting him, thus the command to respect/reverance him
2) a man will always respect a woman who he actually loves, thus the command to love

respect is his nature only when he successfully follows the command to love her. he will not respect her when he is failing the command

as i said, this is my perspective

and yes, leadership is more about responsibility than power