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By biblical injunction and example God’s people are called upon to care for widows. In ancient times men and women generally married young, but the high fatality rate in wars left thousands of widows. Disease and other calamities likewise added to the social burden. By custom at least as old as Tamar (the first widow mentioned in Scripture by name, Genesis 38), the husband’s family ordinarily took responsibility for the care of the widow. God later formalized this custom in legislation that requires a man to marry the widow of his brother should there be no male heir (Deuteronomy 25:5). The law implied, as the stories of Tamar and Ruth illustrate, that if there was no male sibling or the nearest male sibling declined marriage then the next male relative in the line of consanguinity assumed the responsibility. Performance of this duty in Jewish society often resulted in a plural marriage.
Let us consider the godly men in Bible times who responded to the needs of widows. Well known is the romantic story of Boaz who married Ruth, the Moabite daughter-in-law of Naomi. It is possible that Boaz already had concubines (na’arah, Ruth 2:8, could refer to a young marriageable woman, a female servant or a concubine), but Ruth became his first ishshah, wife, Ruth 4:13. A delightful peculiarity of this story is that Ruth did the proposing at the instigation of Naomi and thereby both widows secured their futures.
David is also an excellent case in point. Abigail, the widow of Nabal, became David’s second wife (1 Samuel 25:39-43). After the death of King Saul his widows were taken into David’s household (2 Samuel 12:8). Whether he had intimate relations with them is unknown. David’s last marriage to a widow was to Bathsheba, which may have been done out of a sense of responsibility for both the death of Uriah and the child she bore (2 Sam 11:27).
The best illustration of all is that Jesus, while dying on the cross, made provision for his widowed mother, transferring her to the care of his beloved disciple, John (John 19:26-27). It may seem strange that Jesus transfers his responsibility as eldest son to John rather than one of his four brothers (Matthew 13:55), but at the time they did not believe in him (John 7:5). The crucifixion and resurrection must have worked a change, because after the ascension they are associated with the apostles and with Mary (Acts 1:14). Two of his brothers eventually contribute to the New Covenant Writings, James and Jude.
The issue is so important that the apostle Paul identified key principles for their care (1 Timothy 5:3-16). (1) Widows are to be honored. They deserve to be treated with respect, love and concern. Of course, for widows to be honored, the community of faith must be aware of them. (2) Widows are first and foremost the responsibility of their families. If a widow has children or grandchildren, then her welfare falls on their shoulders. Paul is not too harsh when he says that a relative failing in this duty is worse than an unbeliever. (3) However, there are times when the community of faith must provide for the needs of widows as James exhorted (James 1:27) and the apostolic church demonstrated (Acts 6:1-4). Widows over 60 are to be cared for by the community of faith if there is no family. The rule would also pertain in the case of a widow who had been cut off from her unbelieving relatives for accepting Yeshua. (4) Lastly, widows of child-bearing age are to be married. This principle requires men to act, since, unlike Ruth, women must normally wait for a proposal.
I believe these biblical instructions are still valid today. I would challenge every congregation and every man of God to consider what they are doing to care for widows in their circle of fellowship or acquaintance. (I think these guidelines could also be applied to women victimized by divorce and made functional widows through no fault of their own.) A family could follow James’ advice and visit widows and do whatever is needed to relieve their distress. The type and level of care would be dependent on age, health and other circumstances. Perhaps a man might “adopt” a widow and by her consent serve as her spiritual head. A widow might agree to live with a family to simplify expenses. There may be occasions when a man might take a widow as a wife. Serving the needs of widows can take a variety of forms. Think about it.
Let us consider the godly men in Bible times who responded to the needs of widows. Well known is the romantic story of Boaz who married Ruth, the Moabite daughter-in-law of Naomi. It is possible that Boaz already had concubines (na’arah, Ruth 2:8, could refer to a young marriageable woman, a female servant or a concubine), but Ruth became his first ishshah, wife, Ruth 4:13. A delightful peculiarity of this story is that Ruth did the proposing at the instigation of Naomi and thereby both widows secured their futures.
David is also an excellent case in point. Abigail, the widow of Nabal, became David’s second wife (1 Samuel 25:39-43). After the death of King Saul his widows were taken into David’s household (2 Samuel 12:8). Whether he had intimate relations with them is unknown. David’s last marriage to a widow was to Bathsheba, which may have been done out of a sense of responsibility for both the death of Uriah and the child she bore (2 Sam 11:27).
The best illustration of all is that Jesus, while dying on the cross, made provision for his widowed mother, transferring her to the care of his beloved disciple, John (John 19:26-27). It may seem strange that Jesus transfers his responsibility as eldest son to John rather than one of his four brothers (Matthew 13:55), but at the time they did not believe in him (John 7:5). The crucifixion and resurrection must have worked a change, because after the ascension they are associated with the apostles and with Mary (Acts 1:14). Two of his brothers eventually contribute to the New Covenant Writings, James and Jude.
The issue is so important that the apostle Paul identified key principles for their care (1 Timothy 5:3-16). (1) Widows are to be honored. They deserve to be treated with respect, love and concern. Of course, for widows to be honored, the community of faith must be aware of them. (2) Widows are first and foremost the responsibility of their families. If a widow has children or grandchildren, then her welfare falls on their shoulders. Paul is not too harsh when he says that a relative failing in this duty is worse than an unbeliever. (3) However, there are times when the community of faith must provide for the needs of widows as James exhorted (James 1:27) and the apostolic church demonstrated (Acts 6:1-4). Widows over 60 are to be cared for by the community of faith if there is no family. The rule would also pertain in the case of a widow who had been cut off from her unbelieving relatives for accepting Yeshua. (4) Lastly, widows of child-bearing age are to be married. This principle requires men to act, since, unlike Ruth, women must normally wait for a proposal.
I believe these biblical instructions are still valid today. I would challenge every congregation and every man of God to consider what they are doing to care for widows in their circle of fellowship or acquaintance. (I think these guidelines could also be applied to women victimized by divorce and made functional widows through no fault of their own.) A family could follow James’ advice and visit widows and do whatever is needed to relieve their distress. The type and level of care would be dependent on age, health and other circumstances. Perhaps a man might “adopt” a widow and by her consent serve as her spiritual head. A widow might agree to live with a family to simplify expenses. There may be occasions when a man might take a widow as a wife. Serving the needs of widows can take a variety of forms. Think about it.
