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First Wives of BF, what if you were 2nd+?

Great question! I know that my lovely lady would not have AT THE TIME. lol

Today, she is no longer living under the Disney fantasies... I would love to hear the replies from others!
 
I would not have married my husband if he had another wife at the time, or if I knew he really thought PM was ok. We have both grown a lot, and I have changed a lot in that time. But knowing where I was at, and where I had come from, when we got married... yeah, there's no way it would have happened. And that's fine, because this was God's plan, where we're at now.
 
I would not have considered him for marriage at the time. It really is impressive to meet ladies who are willing to join families and push against the flow of society. Only God can do this in my opinion.
 
Would knowing what you know about PM being acceptable have changed anything?

If you were to swap places with the 2nd+ in the timeline. ONLY knowing it was ok, not knowing him as you do now perse but noticing how his 2nd+ was around him, had they been first instead.
 
BiblicalLiteralist said:
Would knowing what you know about PM being acceptable have changed anything?

If you were to swap places with the 2nd+ in the timeline. ONLY knowing it was ok, not knowing him as you do now perse but noticing how his 2nd+ was around him, had they been first instead.
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I really don't know how I might have felt if I understood Biblical marriage as I do know back then. I think the connection between "my" husband and his wife would have to have been pretty strong for me to do it. I would like to think that I would have been a woman of such character that if presented a good family by God that I would trust him to work the scary stuff out in the end.

What I do know is that God guided me around several other choices for marriage to find the right man for me to marry. I can only hope that He would have done that for me as a second wife, too.
 
Man_in_the_Middle said:
Great question! I know that my lovely lady would not have AT THE TIME. lol

Today, she is no longer living under the Disney fantasies... I would love to hear the replies from others!
Click to expand...
I absolutely would! The dating/sexual/husband “marketplace” is so distorted (ie buck-wild) among my ethnic group due to historical factors that I would have never been able to attract AND keep a man of his caliber and quality in monogamy. I was just so happy to be able to get with him. I’ve always been a fairly pragmatic and logical person so I quickly realized that I’d be winning as the 1st or 10th, lol. But I also have the benefit of seeing how many good women were attracted to my father and brother… so I wouldn’t feel diminished if I came along later or wash’t the first.
 
I suspect....that unless a woman marrying as a second had previous relationship experience, she might get disillusioned at some point, and do like the mono only crowd and blame the wrong thing.

Many people seem to think that polygyny relationship/marriege challenges are always because of the plural aspect, when monogamous life and marriage can also be hard.

I saw this online the other day and thought to share it here.

Screenshot_20241120_145352_Brave.jpgScreenshot_20241120_145404_Brave.jpg
 
frederick said:
That's sweet! Thanks for uploading it here.
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Thanks! As a admited overthinker I halfway expected someone to think the opposite....that since marriage is the analogy used of Christ and the bride it's supposed to be beautiful. I found the commitment expressed in it ....in spite of the challenges of living with a different kind of imperfect someone... encouraging? And in a way human marriage reflects another aspect of the other relationship. We either die to self and forgive....choose to love.....or we blame and kill....the marriage....each other...

Confounded languages is something I hope He undoes someday. But love languages are another way that communication can go wrong.

Thankfully love covers a multitude of sins!....and maybe gives us the ability to perceive love even when imperfectly communicated.
 
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