I’m going to go out on a limb here and post something that has been on my heart here lately. I feel the need to explain a woman to a man in a very different way than what I’ve seen/read. Perhaps this might help someone one or it may just be an exercise for me. Perhaps it may offend, and my apologies in advance. I know men are generally interested in how things work. Ie: I pull this lever and X happens. While I’m not mechanically inclined and the audience is primarily to men, I’m going to choose a neutral ground here: (medicine) because that’s what I know. So here it goes:
Women have two glands. The Security gland and the Fear gland. These glands have an inverse relationship. As Fear goes up, Security goes down and vice versa. Now, you must have some levels of each to stay functioning. This is much like blood sugar and insulin. You must have some blood sugar (ie Fear) to keep your body running (Fear of Yehovah, fear of consequences, etc). When your blood sugar gets too high (fear) your pancreas (woman’s ability to work through her fears) should secrete insulin (security) to bring the blood sugar levels back to normal-low range.
Now, (stay with me here), there are 2 types of diabetes.
Type 1 : the pancreas literally doesn’t work. In order to live, one must have an outside source of insulin (security…given by you). This is the woman who relies 100% on a man’s ability to inject security all. The time. She has little to no ability to work through her fears
Type 2 (the pancreas is either tired [type 2a] or the body’s cells are resistant to the insulin [type 2b]). Type 2 diabetics may need outside sources of insulin from time to time. Fear levels are higher than normal but the pancreas does work on some level. This woman is more fearful, has the ability to secrete security but it’s not as effective as it once was (because the fear gland is in overdrive and the pancreas is working harder than normal or she’s type 2b where the pancreas secrets security but for whatever reason, her cells cant’ use it to bring down the fear. This is the classic head/heart issue where the head logically sends the message but her heart/emotions can’t follow)
Regardless of what type of diabetes a woman has, there are times when insulin (security) must come from an outside source. It is ideal for a woman not to have diabetes at all, and most of us strive for that, but for the sake of this analogy, women can fluctuate from NOT being diabetic to bouncing back and forth from between Type 1 or the Type 2s depending on the subject. Not so in real life, but I digress…
Single men: you want to marry a woman who does not have diabetes (especially Type 1) most of the time. You want her pancreas (ability to secrete her own security) to work most of the time.
If you are a man and your wife/potential wife is a type 1 diabetic most of the time, for a very long time, then PM is most likely not going to work for you. Ever. You want a functioning pancreas in a woman.
OK. So, now that we have a basic understanding of how a woman works, and that we don’t want a type 1 diabetic, lets put this to practical use.
As a man, the best thing for you to do, if you haven’t done it already, is make an environment (your home/family) the best that it can be for a Type 1 diabetic. Because, when you first introduce PM to your FW, that’s what she becomes for a time. Her pancreas shuts down, fear SKYROCKETS, and you have to give massive amounts of security to get through it (maybe even an insulin (security) IV drip in ICU!). Now, if your environment consists of nothing but items found in a donut shop, you can’t expect her (or you) to succeed in getting her pancreas to start working again now can you? She has no choice but to eat the junk and rely on your security/iv drip. Now, if you provide a well balanced home, she has the choice. She can either choose to eat the well balanced food and avoid the junk and keep her fear levels low, OR she can still choose to focus on the junk and never get anywhere. Again, she will need extra security, but at least she’s in an environment that fosters the ability to follow, submit, and work through her fears. She has a responsibility too. Responsibility to listen, examine scripture and herself, and to work with you and through issues. If she continuously refuses and decides to focus on the junk, then you, my dear sir, have decision(s) to make.
So a few years ago, I was in the throws of being a Type 1 diabetic and I had to see for myself if this PM thing was all a bunch of hogwash being crammed down my throat because my-husband-turned-out-to-be-a-creep-after-a-decade, OR if it was really something that could work. At this stage, I was extremely cynical and skeptical regarding PM. I was LOOKING for a family to prove me right about how sick and disgusting this PM really was. I shall not name names, but I went and visited a family. And boy was I wrong. That Man, somehow made an environment, built and had good relationships with his wives (and they with each other) and….not only proved a cynic like me wrong, but to my complete surprise, made me not want to leave his family. And I wasn’t even physically/emotionally ATTRACTED to That Man!!!! What attracted me was his FAMILY. His household and everyone in it. So I visited again, because, of course, they were just putting on a front. Nope. I visited over and over. For months. They were the same every single time. They counseled, corrected and re-assured me (both verbally and by example). Guys, I’m serious, make your FAMILY a place where a woman doesn’t want to leave. Your FW, SW, some other guys wife who needs support…..it changes lives. It changed my life, and I was just a passerby!
Anyway, my husband also made a very good environment prior to PM. SW once told me that she had never been in a home where she felt that much at peace. (I had a very hard time seeing things clearly in the beginning because of 1. Ill advised choices on hubby’s part and 2. I was being a Type 1 diabetic focusing on the donuts in a well-balanced home. My Fear gland was in serious overdrive which is one reason why I went and visited That Man and his family so often. To be clear, my husband was supportive of these visits and there was no funny business going on. I’m still not attracted to That Man…sorry Man).
Anyway, from personal experience, a man’s family can and will attract women. Whether wives stay or go, that’s on them. You’ve done your part. Give insulin (security) when they need it but expect that they get their pancreas in order. Do not let your wife/potential wife suck you into a situation where one or both of them are type 1 diabetics all the time for good. Give them ample time, space, insulin, grace, go slow and all that, but stand firm in the direction you feel called to lead your family and don’t be afraid. Be honest, be clear, be consistent. Communicate. Set and respect boundaries. If you’re wondering what’s wrong with your wife(s) It’s most likely an issue that has to do with Fear. Figure out how to help her get her pancreas working and give some insulin if she needs it. Your job is to provide a good environment and give her insulin. Her job is to keep her pancreas working.
Women have two glands. The Security gland and the Fear gland. These glands have an inverse relationship. As Fear goes up, Security goes down and vice versa. Now, you must have some levels of each to stay functioning. This is much like blood sugar and insulin. You must have some blood sugar (ie Fear) to keep your body running (Fear of Yehovah, fear of consequences, etc). When your blood sugar gets too high (fear) your pancreas (woman’s ability to work through her fears) should secrete insulin (security) to bring the blood sugar levels back to normal-low range.
Now, (stay with me here), there are 2 types of diabetes.
Type 1 : the pancreas literally doesn’t work. In order to live, one must have an outside source of insulin (security…given by you). This is the woman who relies 100% on a man’s ability to inject security all. The time. She has little to no ability to work through her fears
Type 2 (the pancreas is either tired [type 2a] or the body’s cells are resistant to the insulin [type 2b]). Type 2 diabetics may need outside sources of insulin from time to time. Fear levels are higher than normal but the pancreas does work on some level. This woman is more fearful, has the ability to secrete security but it’s not as effective as it once was (because the fear gland is in overdrive and the pancreas is working harder than normal or she’s type 2b where the pancreas secrets security but for whatever reason, her cells cant’ use it to bring down the fear. This is the classic head/heart issue where the head logically sends the message but her heart/emotions can’t follow)
Regardless of what type of diabetes a woman has, there are times when insulin (security) must come from an outside source. It is ideal for a woman not to have diabetes at all, and most of us strive for that, but for the sake of this analogy, women can fluctuate from NOT being diabetic to bouncing back and forth from between Type 1 or the Type 2s depending on the subject. Not so in real life, but I digress…
Single men: you want to marry a woman who does not have diabetes (especially Type 1) most of the time. You want her pancreas (ability to secrete her own security) to work most of the time.
If you are a man and your wife/potential wife is a type 1 diabetic most of the time, for a very long time, then PM is most likely not going to work for you. Ever. You want a functioning pancreas in a woman.
OK. So, now that we have a basic understanding of how a woman works, and that we don’t want a type 1 diabetic, lets put this to practical use.
As a man, the best thing for you to do, if you haven’t done it already, is make an environment (your home/family) the best that it can be for a Type 1 diabetic. Because, when you first introduce PM to your FW, that’s what she becomes for a time. Her pancreas shuts down, fear SKYROCKETS, and you have to give massive amounts of security to get through it (maybe even an insulin (security) IV drip in ICU!). Now, if your environment consists of nothing but items found in a donut shop, you can’t expect her (or you) to succeed in getting her pancreas to start working again now can you? She has no choice but to eat the junk and rely on your security/iv drip. Now, if you provide a well balanced home, she has the choice. She can either choose to eat the well balanced food and avoid the junk and keep her fear levels low, OR she can still choose to focus on the junk and never get anywhere. Again, she will need extra security, but at least she’s in an environment that fosters the ability to follow, submit, and work through her fears. She has a responsibility too. Responsibility to listen, examine scripture and herself, and to work with you and through issues. If she continuously refuses and decides to focus on the junk, then you, my dear sir, have decision(s) to make.
So a few years ago, I was in the throws of being a Type 1 diabetic and I had to see for myself if this PM thing was all a bunch of hogwash being crammed down my throat because my-husband-turned-out-to-be-a-creep-after-a-decade, OR if it was really something that could work. At this stage, I was extremely cynical and skeptical regarding PM. I was LOOKING for a family to prove me right about how sick and disgusting this PM really was. I shall not name names, but I went and visited a family. And boy was I wrong. That Man, somehow made an environment, built and had good relationships with his wives (and they with each other) and….not only proved a cynic like me wrong, but to my complete surprise, made me not want to leave his family. And I wasn’t even physically/emotionally ATTRACTED to That Man!!!! What attracted me was his FAMILY. His household and everyone in it. So I visited again, because, of course, they were just putting on a front. Nope. I visited over and over. For months. They were the same every single time. They counseled, corrected and re-assured me (both verbally and by example). Guys, I’m serious, make your FAMILY a place where a woman doesn’t want to leave. Your FW, SW, some other guys wife who needs support…..it changes lives. It changed my life, and I was just a passerby!
Anyway, my husband also made a very good environment prior to PM. SW once told me that she had never been in a home where she felt that much at peace. (I had a very hard time seeing things clearly in the beginning because of 1. Ill advised choices on hubby’s part and 2. I was being a Type 1 diabetic focusing on the donuts in a well-balanced home. My Fear gland was in serious overdrive which is one reason why I went and visited That Man and his family so often. To be clear, my husband was supportive of these visits and there was no funny business going on. I’m still not attracted to That Man…sorry Man).
Anyway, from personal experience, a man’s family can and will attract women. Whether wives stay or go, that’s on them. You’ve done your part. Give insulin (security) when they need it but expect that they get their pancreas in order. Do not let your wife/potential wife suck you into a situation where one or both of them are type 1 diabetics all the time for good. Give them ample time, space, insulin, grace, go slow and all that, but stand firm in the direction you feel called to lead your family and don’t be afraid. Be honest, be clear, be consistent. Communicate. Set and respect boundaries. If you’re wondering what’s wrong with your wife(s) It’s most likely an issue that has to do with Fear. Figure out how to help her get her pancreas working and give some insulin if she needs it. Your job is to provide a good environment and give her insulin. Her job is to keep her pancreas working.
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) And sometimes I find myself enjoying life and the blessings (SW, added wife for the husband, larger family) that come with this. But, the ONE thing that will pop up and disrupt my peace is my insecurity. The fear that I just don’t stack up now.
