Did adding a 2nd wife noticeably increase your monthly costs?

[Man_in_the_Middle]

For those that have added a 2nd wife to your household, were you :
1. Surprised by the additional expenses?
2. Surprised or not, were they greater or less than anticipated?

3. For those indicating a greater change than anticipated, where in the budget did the additional costs materialize?

4. And finally, did you discover any cost savings that might or might not have been anticipated?


And, for the record, it is a given to me that wives add significant value in many ways that are non monetary in nature. This thread is simply trying to address the quantitative cost basis of the change.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

 

[Maia]

A 2nd wife could also add significant income so...

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

A 2nd wife could also add significant income so...

In Theory yes. I am mainly curious to know what others lived experience has been.

 

[frederick]

1. Surprised by the additional expenses?

No

2. Surprised or not, were they greater or less than anticipated?

I had no anticipation, so don't know.

3. For those indicating a greater change than anticipated, where in the budget did the additional costs materialize?

I didn't have a budget.

4. And finally, did you discover any cost savings that might or might not have been anticipated?

Yes, I now get exceptionally good medical care for free from my doctor.

This thread is simply trying to address the quantitative cost basis of the change.

I lost my job as a Bible teacher and met with hostile opposition from so-called Christians when I took a second wife. The "costs" were huge, and it was life-changing on a scale beyond my imagination. But he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. God's favor and blessings far exceed any "costs", and a prudent wife is a gift from Him.

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

No

I had no anticipation, so don't know.

I didn't have a budget.


Yes, I now get exceptionally good medical care for free from my doctor.



I lost my job as a Bible teacher and met with hostile opposition from so-called Christians when I took a second wife. The "costs" were huge, and it was life-changing on a scale beyond my imagination. But he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. God's favor and blessings far exceed any "costs", and a prudent wife is a gift from Him.

That is the kind of frank input I am seeking. The what happened to you kind of stories! Thanks!!!!

 

[paterfamilias]

For those that have added a 2nd wife to your household, were you :
1. Surprised by the additional expenses?
2. Surprised or not, were they greater or less than anticipated?

3. For those indicating a greater change than anticipated, where in the budget did the additional costs materialize?

4. And finally, did you discover any cost savings that might or might not have been anticipated?


And, for the record, it is a given to me that wives add significant value in many ways that are non monetary in nature. This thread is simply trying to address the quantitative cost basis of the change.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

1. Nope. We already had extra bedrooms and spare automobiles. Just adding her to health insurance policy which was an expense but not all that significant. So it really was not that much till it was time for a pregnancy and we saved an enormous amount by having her on the insurance policy which would have otherwise been out of pocket.
2. About what we expected
3. NA
4. Not that occur to me

I suppose I should add that unlike Frederick's situation, there were no social expenses and what have you from my or my first wife's family or our friends. They all took it in stride and were supportive fortunately.

 

[NBTX11]

No. Did not add major expenses.

Already owned a home. She just moved in.

Doesn’t drive. No need to add another car or insurance.

Had own income and health insurance. The expenses she had are essentially covered by the additional income.

More wives many times mean more total income.

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

No. Did not add major expenses.

Already owned a home. She just moved in.

Doesn’t drive. No need to add another car or insurance.

Had own income and health insurance. The expenses she had are essentially covered by the additional income.

More wives many times mean more total income.

hmm.. wow. this one surprised me.
I tend to expect greater expenses...
Thanks for that input!!!

 

[Joleneakamama]

hmm.. wow. this one surprised me.
I tend to expect greater expenses...
Thanks for that input!!!

My sisterwife was working for the family business for over a year before she accepted a "permanent position."
Now the money that used to go to a "secretary" stays in the family.

I would say too that the blessings far outweigh any expenses or costs.

It was never about money anyway.

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

My sisterwife was working for the family business for over a year before she accepted a "permanent position."
Now the money that used to go to a "secretary" stays in the family.

I would say too that the blessings far outweigh any expenses or costs.

It was never about money anyway.

I started this thread to consider the cost as I read in Luke:

Luk 14:28 For which of you, desiring to build a tower, doth not first sit down and count the cost, whether he have wherewith to complete it?
Luk 14:29 Lest haply, when he hath laid a foundation, and is not able to finish, all that behold begin to mock him,
Luk 14:30 saying, This man began to build, and was not able to finish.

Thanks for your input. I was wondering how that transition went. Perhaps she could share her thoughts on the financial side of that transition someday.

 

[paterfamilias]

hmm.. wow. this one surprised me.
I tend to expect greater expenses...
Thanks for that input!!!

Would recommend planning for higher expenses and be happy if you can avoid them .

 

[Joleneakamama]

I started this thread to consider the cost as I read in Luke:

For most that choose this life, the biggest "cost" is as Frederick described here.

I lost my job as a Bible teacher and met with hostile opposition from so-called Christians when I took a second wife. The "costs" were huge, and it was life-changing on a scale beyond my imagination. But he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD. God's favor and blessings far exceed any "costs", and a prudent wife is a gift from Him.

It is the change in how your family and friends view you and treat you that is the greatest cost. I wouldn't go back if I could. I would NEVER trade what I have now, fir what i had before. I have two sisters in law that won't answer calls or texts, one that will but certainly doesn't approve of our choice or want to support us. A brother in law married to one of the two first mentioned is an ordained minister that believes my husband is sinning....and says he wants to talk about it (email actually) but he really has no hope of converting us now that there is a child involved....and doesn't really want to look at it. (He also has a special needs child now 25 years old and hospitalized with pneumonia right now....so more pressing matters)
But this is just to underscore how huge a blessing my dear husband's new wife is. I really feel it is a change....but NOT a loss!

Thanks for your input. I was wondering how that transition went. Perhaps she could share her thoughts on the financial side of that transition someday.

I may mention it to her....if I remember. I'm not home right now.

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

I am keenly aware of the social costs that may occur. I have people that I have shared this with over the years that are very uncomfortable with the fact that I even believe that it is righteous. I have been yelled at, cajoled and scorned. So far, I have not lost many people in my circle. I am aware that that could change dramatically if I am blessed with a second wife.

Right now I am making sure to be specific while teaching the bible that the marriages at mt. Sinai were with TWO Nations and not just one. I make sure to be specific that the new covenant is with TWO nations, not just one. These are clues that God is a polygamist himself and so therefore, he is not opposed to it.

It takes time for this to be absorbed by the assembly and you can't shock them all so much that they leave without having a chance to absorb all of the truth that is there. Some people in the assembly know full well our beliefs. They also believe that the bible teaches that it is righteous. Interestingly enough, one family would probably leave even though they agree with it but they would not want to deal with the social stigma that might be put on the whole assembly. Several other families would for sure stay and for all the new ones, who knows at this point. The best one can do is preach the truth and interweave this into the teachings as it naturally fits in.

I have long said, we are not a POLYGNY assembly, we are a bible believing assembly that is willing to accept all of the truth in the bible, even the ones that other people are uncomfortable with, including polygny.

The good news for us is that we started as a home fellowship and even now with a larger congregation, I have my outside work that pays all the bills.

 

[IshChayil]

For those that have added a 2nd wife to your household, were you :
1. Surprised by the additional expenses?
2. Surprised or not, were they greater or less than anticipated?

3. For those indicating a greater change than anticipated, where in the budget did the additional costs materialize?

4. And finally, did you discover any cost savings that might or might not have been anticipated?


And, for the record, it is a given to me that wives add significant value in many ways that are non monetary in nature. This thread is simply trying to address the quantitative cost basis of the change.

Thanks in advance for sharing!

Generally in our family's experience cost was added.
1. not super surprised because while she does work, it's medical missionary type work ...
2. Main issue for us was renting an apartment for her so she can have some space every once in a while. Covid brought the family together more but she needs some air sometimes.
3. An apartmenet where we live is not so high; she sometimes receives love gifts for some of her missions which offsets a lot of the extra costs
4. No cost savings that I can think of. She sometimes will travel to the market which my 1st wife doesn't like to do so this saves some but this doesn't happen so often so generally the extra mouth to feed adds a decent cost. Also any time you get your 1st wife a gift you need to be sensitive to the next one's feelings. So really for gifts the impact of cost goes up if you are a low income level like we are. Also there is the pesky rule about not reducing what the 1st one gets.
YMMV
BTW totally worth it for value to the family. Another adult who cares and loves the children and teaches them scripture and such. Priceless

 

[IndianaLife]

Generally in our family's experience cost was added.
1. not super surprised because while she does work, it's medical missionary type work ...
2. Main issue for us was renting an apartment for her so she can have some space every once in a while. Covid brought the family together more but she needs some air sometimes.
3. An apartmenet where we live is not so high; she sometimes receives love gifts for some of her missions which offsets a lot of the extra costs
4. No cost savings that I can think of. She sometimes will travel to the market which my 1st wife doesn't like to do so this saves some but this doesn't happen so often so generally the extra mouth to feed adds a decent cost. Also any time you get your 1st wife a gift you need to be sensitive to the next one's feelings. So really for gifts the impact of cost goes up if you are a low income level like we are. Also there is the pesky rule about not reducing what the 1st one gets.
YMMV
BTW totally worth it for value to the family. Another adult who cares and loves the children and teaches them scripture and such. Priceless

What is a "love gift"?

 

[NBTX11]

What is a "love gift"?

Money given from one person or group of people (normally a church) to another person, for purposes of supporting that persons work or just to help them out if they’re in need.

For example: Our church gave a love gift (or offering) to missionary X when he came and spoke at our church and talked about his missionary work to China.