Asked and answered. God's example is what we follow.
Looks to me there's two parts covering her nakedness
and entering into a covenant.
Just as divorce requires two parts, sending away
and writing an end to the covenant.
Perfectly juxtaposed. Come together send away - Enter a covenant, end a covenant
This is not some rote step by step process outlined. You don't have to
walk past a woman,
then look at her,
see she's a mature woman, then make sure you have a
skirt on to spread over her, have sex (even though it just says cover her nakedness),
THEN swear unto her and
THEN enter into a covenant and
ONLY THEN she becomes yours.... I mean, shoot, what if you looked at her first before walking past her?! The sequence would be all off!!
It's simple; See a good one, take her first and then enter a covenant if you're a stupid horny teenager that gets caught up in the moment of passion... Or make your vows to one another, pay for her and then a few months later when you have the house ready, show up, sweep her off her feet and make an honest woman out of her a couple three times. But in all these scenarios there's always at least room for the understanding that the bride and groom had a chance to talk to each other, or at very least for the groom to promise certain things.
How do we know if I am a betrothed of Jesus? How can you prove it? You can't ever prove it 100% because it's a covenant and purchase by my master and it's something between me and Him. You can know me by my fruits.
I can know I am married to my wife because we entered into a covenant with one another and I covered her nakedness. Her father did not ask a bride price, he gave her freely to me, she submitted to my headship and mastery over her. And everyone can look on us and see the fruit/proof of the marriage in the way she conducts herself towards me and the rest of the world.
If a woman says she is unmarried and you marry her believing she was single when she was actually married, I can't speak to whether or not God would call you an adulterer. Seems the just thing would be to condemn her rather than the man who didn't know and had no way of knowing. If she ever was married, it would be incumbent upon the God fearing man to insist on seeing her writing of a bill of divorcement. If she cannot produce one, he would need to go to the alleged prior husband, verify and acquire a writing of a bill of divorcement. IF the man even suspected she might have entered into covenant with a previous boyfriend, I'd still do that.
But whatabouts are something you can go on with for pages. What if she married a man who was lost at sea, or MIA? Can you really know? Is she to remain unmarried and uncared for until she dies because we can't prove 100% that her husband did indeed die? Has the husband been providing for her if she hasn't seen him in 2 years? If he doesn't provide for her is he worse than an infidel? Can she not go to the elders and seek release from the law of that man because he hasn't provided for her? Lot's of whatabouts.
I would say look to the words of Jesus when He spoke to men who were being overly legalistic and avoiding the weightier matters of the law, judgement, mercy and faith.
Was the single mother with two children "properly divorced" according to God's word? Let's check
allllll the boxes, make sure the prices have been paid, all the t's crossed and i's dotted. We can't look at the fact that the man is completely absent, abandoned them and see that there is a woman in need, fatherless children in need and do unto the least of these. We can't episkeptomai the widows and orphans unless we have notarized, stamped, taxes paid in triplicate paperwork guaranteeing everything is in order.
We can't know for sure that a woman is a virgin or that her body count was the one man who raped her at 14 years old. How can we be sure? We can't be. And it's pure pharisaical legalism to insist that we must be 1000% sure. I fear sin, make no doubt about it. But I fear being lumped in with those generations of vipers even more.
This is pure religion, to care for and meet the needs of the least of those in the Kingdom. To episkeptomai (visit) the needy in their affliction.
There's lots of answers. You just don't like the ones that don't conform to your ideas on the matter. I'll say again like I've said it before. Sex being the only thing that creates a marriage is not borne out in scripture. I think you may have changed that goalpost, if so great!
If your hang-up is that you've had sex with women without marrying them and feel guilty, repent towards God and count yourself dead to those trespasses. Don't try to justify the actions by assuming you married them all and the women are guilty for leaving you. If that's not the hang-up, ignore it, I don't know you well enough to know the details or your heart. Only you and our Lord can look on your heart.
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- I provided scripture that calls a virgin betrothed woman the wife of a man.
- I've shown numerous instances where sex occurred and there was no marriage.
- I've even provided scripture that outright says if a man entices a maid, sleeps with her, he must then go and make her his wife by purchasing her from the father.
Each one of these logically proves there is more to it than just copulation.
The best I have to offer is this...
We have God's example in Ezekiel 16:8, He saw fit to have written down a template laid out that perfectly matches up with everything else in scripture. Perfectly matches the first marriage creation account Gen 2. Matches the example of Jesus with us. It perfectly conforms to every scriptural account of marriage. What does not match is the idea that sex alone creates a marriage.
My bridegroom has not come to get me and take me to the place He has prepared. We are not one yet, there has not been a consummation. A price has been paid, and a covenant entered into between Him and me. I belong to Him 100%. Right now. Exactly the same way that virgin belonged to her husband
by betrothal covenant even though they had not consummated the marriage yet.
