Companionesque marriage?

[paterfamilias]

Just a caveat in that I am not advocating here, just musing a bit as inspired by the fact that the world is moving towards more difficult times.

We all know that we live in a more recently created bubble where in we practice in large part romantic marriage. Whereas in the past it would very frequently have been more arranged marriages and partnerships of practicality wherein hopefully love blossomed. What I am wondering is if we will begin seeing far more of what I am just broad stroke labeling as companionesque marriage.

This is a sharp enough group to understand the practical advantages to marriage be it plural or mono over being single, especially in difficult times so I won't belabor the point. I would be interested in the groups opinion with respect to the basic proposition though... Will we see more companionesque marriage as the global economy tanks, the all cause mortality keeps increasing, birth rates crash,, authoritarianism increases and potential for not just shortages at home but famines in various parts of the world?

 

[MeganC]

Can you define what you mean by "companionesque"?

 

[paterfamilias]

Yes ma'am.
You are married and have at minimum a good friendship and enjoy each others company but you are not necessarily just gushing with love, romance, boxes of chocolate and nookie three times a day and seven on Tuesday. You are partners, you share chores and expenses and keep each other company and in harsh conditions are a survival team. Not talking zombie apocalypse when I say harsh conditions, just that we are spoiled and we would consider our great grandparents lives harsh conditions. Lots of people today would likely need a partner to make things work under the conditions we lived in during say the 1920's.
Make sense?

 

[steve]

I think that you have just described a normal marriage relationship.

 

[paterfamilias]

Aaaah yes...that is the thing, that might be normal but is it what people are specifically looking for or understanding that they will get? It certainly seems as if something quite different is being marketed. Something far more difficult to attain, much less maintain over the course of many years.

 

[FollowingHim2]

I think that you have just described a normal marriage relationship.

Yes, exactly. Especially arranged marriages which generally start off without a lot of that romantic I-need-to-take-you-to-bed-right-now love.

Aaaah yes...that is the thing, that might be normal but is it what people are specifically looking for or understanding that they will get? It certainly seems as if something quite different is being marketed. Something far more difficult to attain, much less maintain over the course of many years.

Because they're being sold Hallmark lies.

 

[FollowingHim]

Will we see more companionesque marriage as the global economy tanks

I'd say no - sort-of.

Historically, companionesque marriage exists in cultures where marriage has an important social value. The best examples are kings who marry a queen for political reasons, but have little love for her, while their love is for their mistress (lots of historical examples). Even our now King Charles married Diana for political reasons but always actually loved Camilla, formerly his mistress now his wife.

Marriage just isn't seen as necessary today. People may team up as companions, maybe even companions "with benefits" - but why would they "get married" when times are tough? Weddings are expensive.

I think we're more likely to see fewer people who do the formal wedding thing and consider themselves to be married.

It is possible more people will truly marry (whether they recognise it as such or not), and more of those relationships might be companionesque rather than romantically based. But I think most of these people would see each other as friends rather than spouses - the only exceptions being the most religious.

 

[MeganC]

Marriage just isn't seen as necessary today.... Weddings are expensive.

Most of the families I know have had weddings that look more like a family BBQ than a formal wedding. And a lot of poly families don't bother with weddings at all and just get right to the marriage part.

Weddings like we see in the modern world are an excessive tradition. You buy a white dress that you can't ever wear again and you throw a big expensive party when you should really be the most frugal you should ever be.

It makes more sense to me to save the money and just get started in life.

 

[frederick]

It makes more sense to me to save the money and just get started in life.

I totally agree and would suggest eloping with appropriate consent to make it the least offensive to all the uninvited. Some people really get their panties in a tangle if they don't get invited to a wedding. Since no one gets invited to an elopement all the hassles over who to invite are resolved. And it saves a lot of unnecessary expense. Bingo, everyone is a winner.

 

[Maddog]

is this the wrong place for this verse? I wonder about the older non child-bearing women, they have husbandly needs too.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

 

[NickF]

is this the wrong place for this verse? I wonder about the older non child-bearing women, they have husbandly needs too.
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

That’s an interesting verse… one I’ve been wondering about for a long time

 

[FollowingHim]

Most of the families I know have had weddings that look more like a family BBQ than a formal wedding. And a lot of poly families don't bother with weddings at all and just get right to the marriage part.

Weddings like we see in the modern world are an excessive tradition. You buy a white dress that you can't ever wear again and you throw a big expensive party when you should really be the most frugal you should ever be.

It makes more sense to me to save the money and just get started in life.

I completely agree - but if we're talking about what we're likely to see in society as a whole, most people don't see it that way. Yet.

 

[MeganC]

I completely agree - but if we're talking about what we're likely to see in society as a whole, most people don't see it that way. Yet.

I don't know about that. With so many people just moving in together and living in a marriage (even if they don't want to call it that) then it's not a big step from there to simply make it official and dispense with the party.