Can a woman love more than one man?

[Scarecrow]

Coming from a Christian perspective I find it hard to believe that a Christian woman could love two men as husbands simultaneously. I can't believe that God would "wire" a woman to be an adulteress. The women I know have told me that they have no desire or inclination to love more than one man.

Dr. James Dobson did a good teaching on how the male brain takes a testosterone bath when the fetus is 6 weeks old and how it affects the way men think. Maybe this is what causes men to experience love differently than women when it comes to their spouse.

 

[nathan]

Might be the testosterone, might be more fundamental to how God has wired us as men. I certainly agree with your basic premise, although there are plenty of men who are not capable of properly loving two women, I think the generalization is fair and accurate in my experience. Culture can screw up a lot of things in us (make women more 'masculine' acting as one example), I'm sure there are plenty of women in the 'poly' movement who'd say they can love two men, but as that's not in a God-centered, husband-as-head environment, those exceptions mean exactly nothing to me.

 

[CecilW]

... hard to believe that a Christian woman could love two men as husbands simultaneously. ...

LOVE two at once? I don't find that particularly difficult to imagine. But to completely fill the role as Biblical WIFE to two simultaneously? Impossible.

The difficulty is that HE must be the leader in the relationship. SHE therefore must "submit", or "serve", or "stand in rank" under that leadership.

Jesus said it best: "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other." Matt 6:24. Although Jesus was talking about God vs. Mamon, I believe He was merely referring to a universal and obvious truth applicable to both genders.

I'll even go one step further from my own experience. Is it possible that, for many women, one of the major stresses of being married yet working a job is that she IS trying to "serve two masters", -- her husband AND her boss? I suggest that the particular stress of doing so may be a contributing factor to her finally deciding she "can't take any more, one must go", and it turns out to be the hubby who loses.

Admittedly, this is a subjective observation, perhaps even wild-eyed speculation. But it would be fun to do a research study. I suspect that it would find the hypothesis has merit.

 

[Graced By God]

But to completely fill the role as Biblical WIFE to two simultaneously? Impossible.

I agree with this statement.
I think that I as a woman simultaneously could have two men that I admire and respect.
I could see myself joined/covenanted to either one of them and become a helper to this person.
Furthermore, I agree that I could not "simultaneously" have two men which equals two heads.
That would be disastrous in my mind and quite confusing to say the least. Can you imagine having two totally different bosses and
them having different tastes, ways to do things, decision making and both wanting you to spend full time with them? It would be impossible to please both!
I believe God has written and demonstated in the Bible that we as women are to have only one "husband/head/covenanted man" at a time - not simultaneously.
I also believe if a woman is released (death/divorce/abandoned, etc) from her husband/covenanted man then she is free to obtain a different husband/covenanted man in the Lord.

 

[Isabella]

... hard to believe that a Christian woman could love two men as husbands simultaneously. ...

LOVE two at once? I don't find that particularly difficult to imagine. But to completely fill the role as Biblical WIFE to two simultaneously? Impossible.

Agree with this.^^

B

 

[Scarecrow]

The word love is so lacking in the English language. I believe there are five different words, each with different meanings, in the Greek (maybe it was Hebrew - I forget) that we translate into "love" in the Bible. I think that may be a part of correctly understanding what people are staying. A woman could certainly love her dad (a man) and her husband (a man) and a grown son (a man) - all simultaneously. It seems that most women (even Isabella ) agree that a woman typically can only love one man as her husband until such time that he is no longer her husband.

 

[Isabella]

It seems that most women (even Isabella ) agree that a woman typically can only love one man as her husband until such time that he is no longer her husband.

I did not say that, I said I agreed with what Cecil said, which is, it doesn't fit into the role of Biblical wife. I think women are as varied creatures as men but I feel that putting biological imperative(as opposed to social or religious rules) on any persons ability to love is a wrong move and can ultimately be used against our better interests, how many times have we (and especially those of us who often argue with anti's) heard those same kind of weak biological arguments used against us?

Bels

 

[MarvelousMarvin]

IMHO, God hard-wired women to love and nurture numerous children simultaneously, and hard-wired men to love numerous women simultaneously. How many is "numerous?" That varies from person to person.

For some men, "numerous" equals ZERO. We all know a few guys who are nothing more than adolescent boys in 30-something-year-old bodies, and who are still living with (and being supported by) mommy and daddy...unfortunately (especially for mommy and daddy!) some of these children with beards and chest hair are married and have kids of their own.

Probably for most Christian men in the Western world, and probably more due to cultural bias and having been taught false doctrine all of their lives, "numerous" might equal one.

But for some men, including most who are part of BFF, "numerous" might be at least two, and in some cases, many more. King David set the example, with 18 that we can confirm from the Biblical record. Solomon went way overboard, with 1,000.

And as to how many children a mother can love - I personally know a monogamous man who has 10 children by his only-ever wife, and both of them love all 10. Undoubtedly, should YHWH bless them with more children, those will be loved as well. John and Charles Wesley's mother had 25 children, if my memory serves me correctly. Presumably, she loved all of them.

That's the neat thing about love - YHWH will bless each of us with an endless supply of it IF we give it away in keeping with His instructions. (See the WHOLE BIBLE! That is His love letter to us.)

Also, we men are commanded to love our wives as Yeshua Ha'Mashiach loves the church, but women are NOT commanded to love their husbands (other than the general admonitions that all believers are to love one another) - but rather, to submit to (respect and obey) her husband. (See Ephesians 5:22-33) If we men love our wives as Christ loves the church, it will be much easier for our wives to respect and obey us.

Maybe women are not commanded to love their husbands because it is not necessary that they be told to do so... ...unlike us men.

 

[Anonymous]

PolyDoc wrote,

Also, we men are commanded to love our wives as Yeshua Ha'Mashiach loves the church, but women are NOT commanded to love their husbands (other than the general admonitions that all believers are to love one another) - but rather, to submit to (respect and obey) her husband. (See Ephesians 5:22-33) If we men love our wives as Christ loves the church, it will be much easier for our wives to respect and obey us.

Maybe women are not commanded to love their husbands because it is not necessary that they be told to do so... ...unlike us men.

Scarecrow wrote,

The word love is so lacking in the English language. I believe there are five different words, each with different meanings, in the Greek (maybe it was Hebrew - I forget) that we translate into "love" in the Bible. I think that may be a part of correctly understanding what people are staying. A woman could certainly love her dad (a man) and her husband (a man) and a grown son (a man) - all simultaneously.

Graced By God wrote,

I think that I as a woman simultaneously could have two men that I admire and respect.
I could see myself joined/covenanted to either one of them and become a helper to this person.
Furthermore, I agree that I could not "simultaneously" have two men which equals two heads.

IMHO, these three comments capture the heart of the issue and it is about love. In our western culture, we have identified love as a heart palpitating emotion, when it is really something much greater. Scarecrow is correct about multiple Greek words being translated as "love", not sure about the number, but more than 95 % of the words used for familial love in the Greek NT are agape' or derivatives of the same. We don't need to concern our selves with the exceptions, agape "love" is the love that God has for His people, demonstrated by Christ up to and through Calvary. I don't see our Lord getting all mushy and weepy in the general course of relationship. I believe a woman may easily be able to love more than one man simultaneously and show that through respect and admiration as affirmed by Graced By God. She could not function as a wife to more than one at once. I am personally aware of many women who have not forgotten their first love and he still has a place in her heart, but these ladies also love their husband's with loyalty, honor and respect. They would never think of forsaking their husbands and family for that private piece of history. PolyDoc reminds us that love is not the main ingredient in a godly marriage, I'm sure he would agree that it does make a nice icing to the cake. Other things are more important for the wife's role in marriage, but mutual love and respect are gifts from God through our spouses. ?Can a woman love more than one man? Yes. Simultaneously ? Yes. Can she be loyal and devoted to more than one at a time as a wife? Absolutely, not. Her trust, respect and honor for her husband alone (under God) are her greatest gift to her family. Again, IMHO.

 

[MiniMinistries]

I find that I must agree with Cecil and Graced by God. The flesh may call it love, but the heart may call it something else, such as lust disguised as love or infatuation. Not that these feelings are not genuine, but sin has introduced many feelings that are not likely original to man before the fall.

Gender, in and of itself should not be a disqualifier for genuine feelings. How would a Christian explain a "love triangle"? They most certainly exist for both genders.