So I've read some on this subject and having reviewed my life and the patterns of my relationships, I am convinced that not only does the Bible justify Polygamy but I have been fighting the concept internally for a large part of my life and never understood the conflict. Has anyone else had a similar experience? It has been so much more than the typical stereotype placed on polygamy that "oh, he just wants a lot of women", it has been and is a feeling that my calling includes having a large family and that includes having multiple wives. I would have never considered this when I was "younger" because it ran to contrary to my morals, but now that I have grown up and adopted a more holistic view of the world and myself, I have become convinced that this is the way I was intended to live. I have a gay brother, and it wasn't until I had seen his "dilemma" for many years that I was finally convinced he didn't have a sexual interest problem as I had been raised with, but he was indeed attracted to men, pure and simple. To deny that would have been to deny a part of himself, which he wasn't willing to do. My family has since accepted this, for the most part, and we support him and his boyfriend (probably soon to be husband). I never really considered the possibility that this was also possible in the way of being attracted to non-monogamy until recently, but lately I have and would like to hear others' experiences. Thank you
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Born Poly?
- Thread starter mw4w
- Start date
I have read your post with great interest and compassion, and it seems to me that there are a few "apples vs. oranges" that need to be separated out.
Before I begin, just a bit of background. I am a first wife in a plural marriage. I also have had the privilege of serving amongst soldiers in Iraq, ministering in the homosexual community, and have family and people who are like family who have chosen to be "in the lifestyle." Some have died of AIDS. I have been the confidant of both men and women who were struggling with gender issues. Some have come out of the lifestyle, some have not. I have loved all of them.
When I was in Iraq I watched as soldiers struggled with finding their heart going out to another, and because of what they had always been taught, thought they were in sin. When they found out that it is normal for a man to feel the desire and ability to love more than one, (a relationship God uses to describe Himself as well,) they would often heave a huge sigh of relief. It can in a way be compared to a woman wanting more than one child. She is not bored with her first one, she just wants to love more than one.
That being said, it is important to remember that God's word is the standard, and while He clearly blesses plural marriage, there is no place where He blesses a sexual union between people of the same gender. I am glad that you love your brother and his partner, but respectfully, I don't agree that the concept of attraction should win the day here.
There are women who experience being attracted to men other than their husbands. There are men who experience being attracted to women who are not available. I am sure that after a forty day fast Yeshua was attracted to eating. Should people act on attraction that runs contrary to God's word? Absolutely not. That is when you run to Him to find the grace and strength to resist as well as to change.
In my experience, there are plenty of ex-gays, but no ex-poly guys. You were, in my opinion, "born poly" because you are a guy.
Before I begin, just a bit of background. I am a first wife in a plural marriage. I also have had the privilege of serving amongst soldiers in Iraq, ministering in the homosexual community, and have family and people who are like family who have chosen to be "in the lifestyle." Some have died of AIDS. I have been the confidant of both men and women who were struggling with gender issues. Some have come out of the lifestyle, some have not. I have loved all of them.
When I was in Iraq I watched as soldiers struggled with finding their heart going out to another, and because of what they had always been taught, thought they were in sin. When they found out that it is normal for a man to feel the desire and ability to love more than one, (a relationship God uses to describe Himself as well,) they would often heave a huge sigh of relief. It can in a way be compared to a woman wanting more than one child. She is not bored with her first one, she just wants to love more than one.
That being said, it is important to remember that God's word is the standard, and while He clearly blesses plural marriage, there is no place where He blesses a sexual union between people of the same gender. I am glad that you love your brother and his partner, but respectfully, I don't agree that the concept of attraction should win the day here.
There are women who experience being attracted to men other than their husbands. There are men who experience being attracted to women who are not available. I am sure that after a forty day fast Yeshua was attracted to eating. Should people act on attraction that runs contrary to God's word? Absolutely not. That is when you run to Him to find the grace and strength to resist as well as to change.
In my experience, there are plenty of ex-gays, but no ex-poly guys. You were, in my opinion, "born poly" because you are a guy.
Welltan,
Long time no see friend!!! Miss you and your sweet wife!!!!
Message me, I'd love to catch up!!!
Long time no see friend!!! Miss you and your sweet wife!!!!
Message me, I'd love to catch up!!!
On topic of homosexuality, Christy McFerren of Prodigal Magazine was in and out of homosexual relationships for years and here's her heartfelt story in ~500 words: http://www.prodigalmagazine.com/on-homo ... -to-fight/
oh my,
I hope that they understand that the word "prodigal" described the spending habits (prodigiously wasteful) of the lad, rather than the fact that he turned his back on his father but later returned in repentance.
but we are all somewhat wasteful of our lives, aren't we?
I hope that they understand that the word "prodigal" described the spending habits (prodigiously wasteful) of the lad, rather than the fact that he turned his back on his father but later returned in repentance.
but we are all somewhat wasteful of our lives, aren't we?
Very well said Ali.
mw4w, it is very important that we do not equate homosexuality and polygyny. The world does - they are both considered either sinful deviancies from heterosexual monogamy, or they are both considered completely acceptable choices. Both of these positions are completely unbiblical.
When we study the Bible, it becomes very clear that polygyny is universally accepted and even blessed, while homosexuality is universally condemned wherever it is mentioned. This position is very unpopular, but that's the Word of God. We must look at the world through that perspective.
Some people certainly are naturally attracted to people of the same gender - in other words, that's the key temptation to sin that they struggle with. Others struggle with a temptation to steal, or get drunk, or commit adultery - everyone has something they struggle with. There is nothing sinful about being tempted - everyone is tempted. There is nothing inherently wrong with a man being attracted to other men. What is wrong is if he gives in to that temptation. In the same way, it is not sinful to be tempted to drink excessively, it is only sinful to give in to that temptation and become a drunken lout. Neither sin is worse than the other - homosexuals are neither more or less sinful than alcoholics. But we don't deal with alcoholics by just accepting their actions, rather we encourage them to change - and the same goes for homosexuals.
I agree with you that your brother is not sinful just because he is attracted to other men. He is just a normal person with normal temptations. He is to be pitied and supported through his temptations - as all people need to be supported through their own. The fact that he is tempted does not justify acting on that temptation, it is still sinful for him to sleep with a man. But acting on that temptation and sinning in that way does not make him any worse than you if you sin by stealing a paperclip from your boss. He needs loving support to get back on track. Instead he probably receives only one of two extremes - complete hatred and condemnation from some Christians, and complete acceptance that everything he does is completely fine from others. Neither extreme will help him at all.
On the other hand I agree with Ali that all men are naturally "born poly". Even in the secular world, when a male celebrity is pictured to make him look highly successful, he is often pictured with a woman on each arm. That is because everyone instinctively sees that as a positive thing - they may then moralise against it to say that if you ACTUALLY did it it would be wrong, but that's a secondary belief that has been imposed through their upbringing, layered on top of the gut instinct which is how people are actually born.
mw4w, it is very important that we do not equate homosexuality and polygyny. The world does - they are both considered either sinful deviancies from heterosexual monogamy, or they are both considered completely acceptable choices. Both of these positions are completely unbiblical.
When we study the Bible, it becomes very clear that polygyny is universally accepted and even blessed, while homosexuality is universally condemned wherever it is mentioned. This position is very unpopular, but that's the Word of God. We must look at the world through that perspective.
Some people certainly are naturally attracted to people of the same gender - in other words, that's the key temptation to sin that they struggle with. Others struggle with a temptation to steal, or get drunk, or commit adultery - everyone has something they struggle with. There is nothing sinful about being tempted - everyone is tempted. There is nothing inherently wrong with a man being attracted to other men. What is wrong is if he gives in to that temptation. In the same way, it is not sinful to be tempted to drink excessively, it is only sinful to give in to that temptation and become a drunken lout. Neither sin is worse than the other - homosexuals are neither more or less sinful than alcoholics. But we don't deal with alcoholics by just accepting their actions, rather we encourage them to change - and the same goes for homosexuals.
I agree with you that your brother is not sinful just because he is attracted to other men. He is just a normal person with normal temptations. He is to be pitied and supported through his temptations - as all people need to be supported through their own. The fact that he is tempted does not justify acting on that temptation, it is still sinful for him to sleep with a man. But acting on that temptation and sinning in that way does not make him any worse than you if you sin by stealing a paperclip from your boss. He needs loving support to get back on track. Instead he probably receives only one of two extremes - complete hatred and condemnation from some Christians, and complete acceptance that everything he does is completely fine from others. Neither extreme will help him at all.
On the other hand I agree with Ali that all men are naturally "born poly". Even in the secular world, when a male celebrity is pictured to make him look highly successful, he is often pictured with a woman on each arm. That is because everyone instinctively sees that as a positive thing - they may then moralise against it to say that if you ACTUALLY did it it would be wrong, but that's a secondary belief that has been imposed through their upbringing, layered on top of the gut instinct which is how people are actually born.