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Biblical Family Structure Book One: The Them In Him

cnystrom

cnystrom

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Biblical Family Structure Book One: The Them In Him by Gina Murray was recommneded in another Biblical polygamy forum.

https://www.amazon.com/Biblical-Family-Structure-Book-One/dp/0692537848

Looks like it is out of print.

From the Author

This project is the launch of a conversation on family structure which I hope to have with you over the months and years to follow as we reason together, making application of the scripture to our lives as modern westerners who desire to remain faithful and grow in grace.

About the Author

Gina Murray is loved by her extended family, church family, and colleagues for her down to earth approachable personality as well as her gentle spirit and sharp intellect. She balances family and career life with style and grace. She loves to discuss the scripture and is particularly interested in keeping the scripture relevant in our daily lives. Subjects of particular interest to her include the various intersections of spirituality, culture, race, gender, and religion. Dr. Murray is a very accomplished wife, mother, and physician. She lives with her husband and children and also practices medicine in the coastal plains of eastern North Carolina. As a pastor s wife and mother of five, she has a deep commitment to family life. Watching their own children grow older, and seeing the condition of modern Christian families, she has felt a greater sense of urgency to pen a basic review of Biblical truth on marriage. Always looking to be of service to her church family, extended family, and community, she hopes to help stimulate discourse among believers in order to nurture spiritually healthy marriages and families. Dr. Murray is resolute in her belief that believers must not shy away from recognizing the authority of scripture in their daily lives and that the right to religious liberty must be fearlessly defended.

Has anyone here read it, and if so, what did you think of it?

Thank you,
Chris

 
Have read intro and chapter one... about 20%. GOLD MINE!

Plural may be discussed in one of the appendices, but the primary focus, Biblical Marriage, roles, responsibilities, etc...is the major focus.. Solid gold so far. Everyone in my family will read this.
 
I agree. About half through. She references the the plural aspects about marriage but doesn't really talk about it. Maybe on the append. The work seems to be about the structure of marriage exclusivity. Monogamy or polygamy doesn't matter. She repeats a few things and it's obvious writing from notes but it's a really good manual for marriage.
 
Have finished the book, appendices next. Really, really good. Highly recommended for anyone who wants to know, or claims to know what 'Biblical marriage' looks like. She holds no punches with many very direct and pointed questions for young men, young women, wives, mothers, husbands and fathers.

Any mono couple that can get it right according to this book is ready for plural.

I would have a very small quibble with how she understands Messiah in His divinity and humanity... need to hear more to understand exactly where she is coming from, but otherwise, I think she is solid gold.
 
A very good book imo. There's some very practical application advice for both genders.

At the very end she makes references to the headship including government and church authority which I feel is taken out of context. I do not believe another man is to come between a man and his head.
 
Haven't read it myself - but what sounds great about it is the fact it's written by a woman. That could break the stereotypes in people's minds enough to allow more people to read it who would otherwise have rejected a book on this topic.
 
Currently rereading. Reminded that the book begins with a rather esotiric 'why' before really getting to meat and potatoes discussion and questions.
 
PeteR said:
Currently rereading. Reminded that the book begins with a rather esotiric 'why' before really getting to meat and potatoes discussion and questions.
Click to expand...

Yeah I have a few disagreements with some things in the beginning of the book. I’m hoping it gets better as folks here seem to indicate that it will...
 
yoderfamily said:
A very good book imo. There's some very practical application advice for both genders.

At the very end she makes references to the headship including government and church authority which I feel is taken out of context. I do not believe another man is to come between a man and his head.
Click to expand...

This is one thing I didn’t like about the book, It was written by the wife of a pastor so it kind of explaines why she wrote that.
 
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I highly recommend this book, I just finished reading. If you want to get a feel for the overall pulse of the book I would also highly recommend listening to the following two interviews the author and her husband have done on YouTube. I actually found these first, read the book, went to review it here and found this thread! There is a sequel to her book out now too that I also look forward to reading soon, available here:
https://www.madrinamedia.com/shop

There is priceless wisdom in these two interviews. I wish I had heard these years ago. Even if you don't read her book you should absolutely take the time to listen to these.

Great interview by Pastor Dowell that also give's some of Dr. Murray's background:

This one is 3 hours but is worth every minute of your time:
 
Hey, thanks! Excited to get her second book. The first was really good.
 
We still need to get through the first one. Thanks for the info.
 
Listened to the first video while doing some work...long...here are the money quotes...

"Here in America...even though you may have the title of wife many of you according to the scriptures you're not functioning as a wife and are not qualified to be a wife....because you simply don't understand patriarchy."

"If we don't trust our husband 100% we're bringing an accusation against his character and against the sovereignty of the Most High."

"Women in America do not know what submission means."

"Concubine is still an honorable title, but we shouldn't think more highly of our selves than we are. Many of us are not functioning as a wife."

"He has feelings for me because I have proven he can use me. I am useful to him. This is the point. Sisters who are not useful to their husbands are fearful of a young girl coming in....Unfortunately they've been slothful...doing these things to make him feel like less of a man...There is no reason to be afraid, just be obedient, be encouraged that another sister is coming in. This means the Father is not done with you yet, is not done with your man...that His grace is still with you, with your family."

"He is wise in how he deals with sisters. There is a level of detachment, he does not give his strength unto women. And so women understands she needs to be in the posture of pleasing this man, and that is how you please the Most High. And he will withdraw his presence. He doesn't deal with women who do not absolutely desire his presence. He does not pursue women. If a man pursues women and she's somewhat indifferent he's setting up a situation where he has to be actively corralling her all the time, because she doesn't have an internal desire unto him. So he takes wives who she should be begging him to take her as a wife...in her spirit...He rewards with his presence sisters who are submissive and cooperative and working together; values sisters who work together even more than sisters who directly cater to him. Sisters deceive by trying to overly cater to the husband and they can think less of her sister. That's a sign of a sister who's deceiving. Because she wants to do for the man because she feels she'll get directly in return. That sister she thinks can do nothing for me, so they don't cater to her sister. He values the sister who is kind to his sister greater than the one who attempts to cater directly to him."

"My husband is unmovable. He won't be intimidated. He won't be manipulated."

"I'm happy, truly happy for my sister[wife]. I can't express to you how wicked it is to withhold from another sister the opportunity, at least the opportunity, to be covered by a righteous man."

"Brothers are gentle and don't need to be in this situation where they're having to try to compel some sister whose resisting. Any sister whose provoking a husband to take a posture other than meekness is really destroying her house. He should be able to be the most meek the most kind ruler. And for her to be such a monkey that he has to strong arm her is such a reflection on her character. If he has to raise his voice, repeat himself, to be grieved in any way, this is a reflection not only on her but on her people that they did such a poor job on training her."

"The reason why this [concubines] is tough to understand is because in the west we say that everyone is equal. And that's just not true. And some of us have a tendency to think more highly of ourselves than we are."

"I belong to my husband...I produce for my husband...As a profitable servant the more I am able to assimilate to him the better I am able to produce the fruit that he wants produced....The problem with a sister who has baggage, mainly emotional baggage from history of failed attempts at assimilation....its harder the more failures she has....women come to the man in different conditions. A sister who is a virgin, younger, no prior failed attempts at assimilation and more importantly she came from a home where the father was the patriarchal ruler. If she comes from patriarchy and obeys her father shes in much better condition to easily transfer to her husband. The farther a woman is from that the less suitable that she is to be a wife and the more she'd function at a lower level. She's not able to function as a wife, 100% submission and 100% assimilation. Because she has all these other ideas and hurts and history and for that reason she should consider herself fortunate to consider herself a concubine. It is an honorable term. She is sexually exclusive. He recognizes her. Day to day she is treated the same as the wife. The difference is in inheritance. A concubine can become a wife, if she's delivered from her errors and misgivings and baggage she can become a wife. That being said, a daughter may be brought in as a wife but never can cut it and ends up not being able to function as a wife, she can be considered a concubine. For concubines, whatever the husband divides unto them he does so while she's living. For wives, there is an inheritance after the husband passes away because the wives can be trusted to the ongoing work of the husband after he passes away. A concubine, since she's not able to submit 100%, she can't be trusted after he's passed away to do the work she's given to do. And for that reason she's not given an inheritance."

"As a man I don't have to communicate to my wife or wives if I take a wife or concubine.

"You are not obligated scriptural to check with any woman on your actions...with any current wives on the taking of a new wife nor for your whereabouts or time spent in any particular place. The husband operates on a need to know basis. He shares information if it is needed for this sister to do her purpose. It may be no need for him to share a particular piece of information with every sister. The more a sister has shown herself to be erratic emotionally the less he can share information because he is trying to help her keep her peace. The husband is more able to freely share information when the sister has demonstrated that she cares more about him and stability and peace in the home than she cares about her feelings."

"Women are so far out of our place that it is terrifying...It is a fearful thing to set ourselves up in opposition to the man of Ya. He doesn't require our approval for anything. We really should fall on our face and repent for feeling like we are somebody to be checked on things; because we are not."
 
Thanks for taking the time to write that up. I keep going back and listening to these because after all the seeming talking in circles that happens on some threads, the Murray's make plain, simple sense. They have rare wisdom, which I think is a product of having more than a single generation of patriarchy. Which is one of the best reasons to implement a biblical family structure; there isn't a better inheritance to leave your descendants.

I only wish I had found them sooner.
 
I am still listening (takes some time), but it indeed shows a deep wisdom on submission. Thanks for posting.
 
Listened to the first interview this morning for the third time... solid, solid gold.
 
tps26 said:
I highly recommend this book, I just finished reading. If you want to get a feel for the overall pulse of the book I would also highly recommend listening to the following two interviews the author and her husband have done on YouTube. I actually found these first, read the book, went to review it here and found this thread! There is a sequel to her book out now too that I also look forward to reading soon, available here:
https://www.madrinamedia.com/shop

There is priceless wisdom in these two interviews. I wish I had heard these years ago. Even if you don't read her book you should absolutely take the time to listen to these.

Great interview by Pastor Dowell that also give's some of Dr. Murray's background:

This one is 3 hours but is worth every minute of your time:
Click to expand...
I got most of the first one in before I nodded off. Yes there is definite gold here. Got me to thinkin' about what I see as the root cause of feminism, originally. I'm using my mom's story as an example. Number 1: complete ignorance of scripture, which is pervasive today as well. Number 2: a highly dysfunctional family spearheaded by an abusive drunk. As the result of #2, anyone wanting to be out of that really had to fight back, especially mentally, as they were told that they were stupid, unable to do anything as far as bettering their lives etc. And so there you go...within a generation it starts to develop into a "movement" that is about far more than just surviving.
On a slightly different note, I looked into this pastor and his church, and am wondering if they have any affiliation with the MESSED UP "replacement theology cult" that shot up the yeshiva and deli in NJ (I think). @PeteR and @Pacman do you have any info?
 
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Robhar said:
On a slightly different note, I looked into this pastor and his church, and am wondering if they have any affiliation with the MESSED UP "replacement theology cult" that shot up the yeshiva and deli in NJ (I think). @PeteR and @Pacman do you have any info?
Click to expand...
I have listened to Pastor Dowell off and on for the last six or so years. Not Black Hebrew Israelite, but does have a leaning toward an Afrocentric theology. There are a number of fair skinned brothers that have had good fellowship with him in the past, so at least at that point he was not too heavily influenced by black replacement.

@ZecAustin has met him, I think, and he's been invited to this board a few times.

The material is gold, but some of his rhetoric can be concerning in light of recent events.
 
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