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Becoming Lovely/Necessary??Needful??

withfresheyes

New Member
As women of God, is it necessary for us to become lovely if we want to be loved? Is it necessary to strive to enrich his life and if so-in return, we find our lives enriched? Can we accomplish this without be "lovely?"

God holds the man respondibile on a much higher level. He has what I would term a priority, sacred trust. As I seek God, striving to know more and have a better understanding of all Biblical truths, my desire is reach out to other women who have "hurting hearts."

God never gave to any man the perfect woman, that is except Adam and he failed in his respondibility to protect her against Satan and temptation.

I am of the firm belief that a woman can not motivate a man, even with the best of intentions, using criticism. Instead she can motivate him with her admiration, trust, respect and sincere praise.

By His original design,woman was placed under the authority of man. I contend that the woman is attracted to a real man, a Godly man, who through much prayer and worship before God, is committed to His calling, acquires through wisdom, new ideas, and has adventures he seeks to explore. Can we as women of God cheer him on, believe in him and his dreams, without attaining loveliness?

I am well aware that there are far too many women who have never had a good, Godly example in their lives. They have not a clue what a Godly woman should be! I think there is an urgent need for this to be taught and trained in the light of His Holy Word! Can we as "older women" teach these things to the younger women without attaining loveliness?

Still, the woman of God must always keep in mind that she is under the authority of a Godly man whose respondibility it is, to guide her.

Women want to be noticed, appreciated, quiet conversations, a loving touch and so much more. High on our agenda is to be loved and treasured. We sometimes experience irrational emotions that we ourselves don't understand. A soft word, a gentle touch, a voice of reason, let us know that you acknowledge what we are feeling and that our emotions are real and troubling to us.

Not only do we experience emotional needs, we have mental needs. Again this is where your leadership, and acknowledgmentof the need come into focus. Then of course there are the physical needs that go beyond intimacy.

It is a comfort to us, that as our headship, you understand! We not only want to hear that from you, we need to hear that from you! Sometimes words are not even necessary. Simply holding her hand, and a gentle embrace is sufficient enough for us to know that you do indeed understand. It is through these actions that we find courage and comfort, allowing us to receive strength from you.

Without loviness????
 
withfresheyes said:
I am of the firm belief that a woman can not motivate a man, even with the best of intentions, using criticism. Instead she can motivate him with her admiration, trust, respect and sincere praise.


Very well said!
 
Lovely is a very interesting word to me. It brings thoughts of being soft spoken, loving and thoughtful. These are indeed things a husband would love if it is accompanied with respect in words and deeds. These things are very powerful for us woman. They can help us be better wives and mothers, I believe.

Unfortuantely, I have rarely thought of myself as soft spoken, loving and thoughful. It really takes effort on my part to be any of these things. My mother and society taught me to be tough and self-sufficient with a bit of love thrown in for smoothing over things. Lets just say that being "lovely" is a work in progress for me ;) . It is good that God has so much grace for me AND that my husband does too!

A very interesting post, Withfresheyes.

Julieb
 
JasonTedder said:
withfresheyes said:
I am of the firm belief that a woman can not motivate a man, even with the best of intentions, using criticism. Instead she can motivate him with her admiration, trust, respect and sincere praise.


Very well said!

Thank You Jason! The date was April 25, 2009 when it seemed, God begin to peel back the layers with which I had been taught erronously.I simply wanted His truths, and from the above date, He has continued to reveal His original assign and design plan. I am so very Thankful that He never changes! I want to continue to be taught and absorb His truths, even when it goes against our "Christian" background and traditional culture.
 
I agree with you Julie 100%! We are all a work in progress. For too many years I attempted to live without and even beyond longing for a man to love me. I wandered, "What man in his right mind would want to love me and connect his heart with mine?" I have known the betrayal of loving. I still carry the scars and am reminded of them frequently.

Yet something has changed! About 11/2 years ago something happened completely unexpected! God began to peel away the layers of man's traditional teaching. I realized that we were made for intimacy and adventure! He had started me on my own advenure. I thought, This is not really what I want for myself. I did not want my own adventure as I felt I had had enough. I found them to be hurtful and certainly not adventageous to what I wanted. I wanted to love a Godly man and be part of his adventure.

I have been told that I sometimes take things too far and as God knows my heart I don't need to be so insistent on "some things!" Excuse me??? I will no longer tolerate anyone who will casually dismiss His scriptural truths! Nor will I continue to attempt to disconnect and deny the God given natural desires He placed within! I will no longer not love, simply because man's tradition and teaching say it is wrong. My attitude is, Show me in the scripture where it is wrong for me to love, especially a Godly man? Show me where I am in the wrong defending His truths, defending those who stand up for His truths and defending those I love so deeply!

I so long Julie to be the woman of God He intended, as well as the object and yes desire of having a Godly man love me.

My ultimate goal is to be in His will. I will no longer deny the very thing He intended for His children, and that is loving and being loved. Today I can tell you that it seems I am in a place where it simply feels right and I am experiencing a taste of the life He meant for me to have! Does that make sense?

I am now walking a path I have never walked before! This is a path of freedom and declaring that He and He alone really knows me. He is aware that I now am a bit "bolder" in my reply's when it comes to His love. Is it wrong Julie to love another so deeply in the way God intended? Is it wrong to realize that one cannot die to or continously attempt to deny the very emotions that God designed the woman to have? Am I wrong, having reached a place of open honesty, in now accepting a gift that only He could give?

So as He continues His work in me and you and many others, I ask you what is our responsibility in all this? Is it not to become more dedicated to Him, asking God to help me to become more lovely in Him, and in return, attain that lovliness for another, to make a choice to no longer deny His truths? We as women of God are to be under the headship of a Godly man. To rely on his leadership, trust him, show him respect, honor him, reverence him! To love him to a depth that only God can give!

Girl, don't the Lord have His work cut out for Him as He continues His work in me? I think He can handle it, don't you? I simply refuse to deny my love, whatever the circumstance! Loving you!!
 
withfresheyes said:
As women of God, is it necessary for us to become lovely if we want to be loved? Is it necessary to strive to enrich his life and if so-in return, we find our lives enriched? Can we accomplish this without be "lovely?"
you have said so much and it is so well-said, but iam am only going to take the time to address your first sentence.
to abuse forest gump's quote "lovely is as lovely does"
"lovely" is a lifestyle that is bastardized when striving is used in an attempt to accomplish it.

i am sorry, i am not communicating well and i have to get to work. if this is too confusing please just forgive me.
 
I think that some people (more worldly) lovely is a statement about their physical condition. For me (and I think for God) lovely is about an attitude. Lovely seems like the way we go through life. I have found that my husband responds much better to kind loving words than he does to those given carelessly. Even criticism can be given in a lovely way so that it does no harm to the recipient.

Some of us TX ladies are doing a book study on "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debbie Pearl. The first two chapters begin to cover this by bringing our focus to how we start each day. Is our day started to just thrust ourselves into the world and face each thing as it comes? Or do we wake up each day with a goal or vision of blessing our husbands and/or families and thereby blessing God.

Thanks for a great topic "withfresheyes."

SweetLissa
 
steve said:
withfresheyes said:
As women of God, is it necessary for us to become lovely if we want to be loved? Is it necessary to strive to enrich his life and if so-in return, we find our lives enriched? Can we accomplish this without be "lovely?"
you have said so much and it is so well-said, but iam am only going to take the time to address your first sentence.
to abuse forest gump's quote "lovely is as lovely does"
"lovely" is a lifestyle that is bastardized when striving is used in an attempt to accomplish it.

i am sorry, i am not communicating well and i have to get to work. if this is too confusing please just forgive me.

Thank you Steve! I agree with you. It certainly was not my intent to leave anyone with the impression that as women of God we must strive in order to attain loveliness! I firmly believe we can only become lovely to the world and to the man we love as we committ "wholly" to God and by submission and obedience to Him and the man we love. If we attempt to strive, are we not aware that we won't simply attain, that He has the ability and choice to refrain from giving us that which we desire.

I think that we, as women of God have been blessed by Him, as we are in a very unique position, having been assigned by God, to attain that which He assigned from the beginning. ".....and thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee." (KJV) This scripture, I believe, goes beyond intimacy. As women of God we were made by Him to be a help meet. Would not attaining loveliness help us to be a better help meet?

I know there are many women out there who hvae been hurt and continue to remain in their comfort zone of anger. I was one of them!Having experienced painful wounds that still, at tmes, hold on to some strong doubts.This is where I personally seek God and His truths. There was a time when it was not so. I was stubborn, rebellious, "mouthy", controlling amd much more. By His unending mercy and grace, He has blessed me with a better understanding and His biblical truths, (and I seek more) therefore giving me the desire to know more. I have a deep desire to be a Titus 2 woman and be instrumental in helping other women with hurting hearts. Too many of us have long enough been sisters suffering silence!! God can and will change our hurt and work it for our good! Therefore women of God must, and with all sincerity, be open and honest before God, as He knows all things anyway, and does all things well! It is our responsibility to submit to the authority and leadership of a Godly man. Whether we think he is right or not, we must, in obedience, willingly surrender our "want to" to correct him. Not our choice to make. The responsibility is his. Ours is to submit and obey!

Thanks again Steve for your response. I am enjoying this thread and look forward to more posts!! Have a good day Steve!!
 
this is indeed a lovely thread. you express yourself well and your heart shows wonderfully in it.
please allow me the presumptousness of offering a slightly different view of a couple of your sentences. i think that it will be in keeping with your overall message.
If we attempt to strive, are we not aware that we won't simply attain, that He has the ability and choice to refrain from giving us that which we desire.
i do not see Him as witholding from us because we are going about it wrong. it is more a case of us (except for His mercy) receiving the concequences of our decisions/actions. like baking a cake, if we do not pay attention and we reverse the amounts of the sugar and the salt, we cannot expect Him to make it come out right even if we were really trying hard and had a good heart in trying to please the intended receiver of the cake.
if we do not do it His way, then we have created the failure. (the old "well, you cannot get there from here") :D
Would not attaining loveliness help us to be a better help meet?
actually (and maybe this is what you are saying) i believe that the two ideas are synonymous.
the better that you are as a help meet, the more lovely you will become. and you cannot become more lovely without automatically being more of a help meet.

as one of Yashua's bride everything that you have brought up applies to me also :o ;)
may we all take to heart what you are saying
 
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