• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Another Perspective.....

Doc

Member
Real Person
I had a conversation recently with an African-American brother in the Lord, and it drifted into the topic of plural marriage. As we talked, he began to see the significant benefits of plural marriage, especially in many urban church fellowships.

His observation was that many African-American churches are OVERWHELMINGLY filled with single mothers and their children, and the number of qualified (Christian) men is dwindling even faster as time goes on.

My question is this, and it is only an oberservation on my part just among us guys: why do we not see more acceptance of plural marriage among African-Americans, when it would solve numerous issues?

I would appreciate your thoughts and comments.

Blessings,
 
Indeed, your friend and you are not the first to have this idea:
http://www.amazon.com/Plural-Marriage-O ... 897893158/

Kilbride makes a strong case for the need for polygamy in urban Black America today (although the book covers more than Black America, mostly from a sociological point of view). Kilbride teaches at Temple University in inner-city Philly, which I attended for 3 semesters - my best college experience, immersed in a culture a world apart (and just 3 hours) my from rural dairy-country high-school years.

Black Muslims in America also understand this:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/stor ... d=90886407
 
I suspect that at least part of the answer, a not unsurprising irony, lies in the math itself. And it is not really unique to issues of race, but probably only exaggerated:

Our increasingly pagan culture has deified goddess worship, demonized men, and penalized both men AND women who fight that new norm.

The solution of plural marriage is necessary, because the very same forces which drove God's Word OUT of marriage, drives the numbers as well.



I guess, in hindsight, it SHOULD obvious. But alcoholics rarely see the obvious math either, if another drink is available. One could say that we are reaping what was sown, that only the "fool" denies there is a God, and that "they are without excuse."
 
It is so sad, to walk into a church function and see the most beautiful women you have ever seen in your life and know you can't marry a one of them Biblically !

Welcome, Cowboy70x7...and that really IS sad. However, take heart that some of them no doubt WILL eventually "come out" of that satanic system, and come to understand what Isaiah was talking about in v 4:1. Meanwhile, we are still able to intercede for all such people in prayer, and stand ready "in season and out" to speak the Truth to them "boldly" from His Word.

Finally, I continue to contend that there is nothing that He is not able to "wash clean" once someone realizes how badly they have been deceived and truly comes to repentance.

Blessings,

Mark
 
Welcome Cowboy,

That is why we are here, to provide an alternative path of discipleship for those who are seeking truth regarding plural marriage.

Blessings,
 
Cowboy70x7 said:
Well Guys I'm sad to report, I don't really think Polygeny is for me anymore. I recently met a woman far beyond my wildest dreams but her family found what I thought I was saying in private to a men's only study group and they have banished me without a Matthew 18:15 ONE ON ONE or the Loving reproof of Luke 17:3 :oops: ; so sad to say just when I found the answers I have been looking for all along and the woman; my whole life is destroyed :cry: . Yes, she meant that much to me, and sadly I've prayed that the LORD would bring me home, cause after a life of pain this is the one that cut to the bone. I've preached for years that suicide is a Permanent Solution to a Temporary Problem and that He never puts on us more than He has prepared us to bear, and He supplies all our strength and all our need and with Him all things are possible.

But I have never been hurt this bad in my life ! ! ! Maybe the private men's only Bible Study shouldn't be open to Yahoo searches and just anyone cruising the Internet word searching your Name or Handle :idea: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I Love you guys In Jesus Holy Heavenly Name and I will continue to Pray for you as long as I'm in this world, but please consider the outcome of the plural marriages of the Bible, and the types of people that were produced in those conditions ???!!!
When God first taught me about this issue it ended up being brought up with my fiancée, though I didn't want it to and had no intention of bringing it physically into her life. It brought a slow and horrible death to the relationship. My testamony on that is here. I loved her dearly. However, such does not change truth... and Truth is what Christ is... my first love. The pain and insanity passed with time... but truth stands forever... and now God is designing a better future for me than the one I planned of with her. I chose truth over her... but it seems you are letting your view be skewed by your hurt. Does hurt from a situation change truth? It does not.

Also, yes, anyone can search for your username. This part of the forum is for men to speak with each other without women interrupting... but it is free to be read by anyone. It says that on the introduction to this forum. There is a members only mens forum also, that is not searchable or accessible by the public... but this is not it and was never claimed to be it.

As for what you said about the people that were produced in those conditions... they were no different from the people produced by any other conditions. People are people.

I'm sorry you have been hurt, but suicide is no solution to anything. Hardship has come to you and you have lost much, but this too will pass in time.
 
sadan, fer a young'un yer sure a wise one

cowboy, we were guaranteed misunderstanding and persecution but we are surprised and dismayed when it happens. and yes, sometimes it seems like the pain of being beaten like paul was would be easier to bear than the heartache that we have. well, the grass will probably always be greener on the other side of the fence.

you have 70X7 in your name. i assume that this refers to what Yeshua said about forgiveness. you can either focus on forgiving them or on your pain, it's your choice.
 
I second Sadan's counsel, 70x7.

Likewise, my own testimony and story is up here in more than one thread. (Perhaps I can search the link later, but the main thread is called "Dealing with the Beast", and tells the story of my second wife B, who honored our Covenant for ten years and then in fear invited a spirit of the Adversary to take control. While she KNOWS the Word, she bought into the lie that "polygyny is just too hard" in this world. She ignored the warning that "Friendship with the world is enmity with God".)

Most people have trouble believing the following, but it is true. After she left, I emailed her (and she responded) concerning the Scriptural issues. Some time later I was arrested for FELONY "email harassment" and have been "dealing with the beast" since.

Yes, it is the most painful event of my life, and the word "betrayal" does not do justice. And yet, my wife L and I pray for B's deliverance from that bondage more than daily, and have forgiven her from our hearts.

B remains my wife -- WHEREVER she is. I KNOW that she will eventually be healed, and will do as God's own wayward wives are prophesied to do -- "return to me". I pray covering and intercession for her continually. Until then, I must "wait on the Lord".

Do not give additional ground to the Adversary. We are tested for a reason.

You are in our prayers.


Blessings in Him,

Mark
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP4OvUU-ZHU

Please listen to the song at this location, over and over and over again, Cowboy. Expect to cry a lot. They will be cleansing tears.

God NEVER closes a door without opening a better one. Though we don't see it right away. That is not platitude -- it is hard won testimony for many of us on this site.

Hold ON, amigo. The problem with suicide is that you never get a chance to experience anything else from that day forward! No hot chocolate while watching a sunrise. No praise and worship sessions that bring you to your knees. No snowskiing, or Korean food, or great movies while sharing popcorn with someone more interesting than the movie, no skinny dipping in a mountain stream below a waterfall, no petting a wiggly dog or riding a horse among towering sugarpines ... none of that.

Do you really wanna miss all that good stuff, just because of someone ELSE's screwey headedness? That would be a shame!!!
 
I also echo this Godly wisdom. My life has been torn apart more times than I care to mention because of my beliefs and Godly revelations. Polygyny is just another category that God has given me to deal with and I have been rejected many times over it in the past couple of years. It comes with the territory. If a woman refuses to obey the Word of God and the leading of the Holy Spirit, especially when it comes to Godly polygyny, then the relationship will likely fail to be blessed in the long run anyway. It is better to lose it sooner rather than later. The promise is that ANYTHING we give up in the name of Christ or for the sake of the gospel will be replaced 100 times in THIS life, but with PERSECUTIONS.

Mark 10:28-31 -


28Then Peter began to say to Him, “See, we have left all and followed You.” 29So Jesus answered and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel’s, 30“who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life. 31“But many who are first will be last, and the last first.”
The Holy Bible, New King James Version, (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, Inc.) 1982.

When my second wife left for the cable repairman, I thought things were coming to the end for my personal relationships. I was through with marriage after two failed attempts. However when I did things His way, God sent a woman into my life who is at least 100 times better than the 2nd wife. I see that now, after more than 6 wonderful years of being married to Melissa, my current wife. God can heal ALL wounds with the balm of Gilead and He will if you let Him.

As for the black community, I agree with Cowboy's assessment, but will add something that I hope will not be taken the wrong way. I am now living in South Africa and have seen firsthand how the traditional cultures of the African blacks operate. There is a fierce issue with pride among the blacks that is difficult for people to overcome, as it is so entrenched in their traditions. Even when people accept Christ, as we all know, it is difficult to give up the things we were raised with, especially if the Christian church is watered down and without true Godly wisdom and power; such as is the case around the world. The black community is filled with traditions handed down from their forefathers that teach them that it is better to have sex outside of marriage to see if the woman is fertile and can get pregnant BEFORE the man will consider marrying her. If she gets pregnant then he MAY marry her. If not then he ditches her or continues to have her as a sex object. If she gets pregnant, then he may ‘man up’ and marry her, but all too often ditches her anyway. Traditionally in the black African culture, the man can have as many wives as he wants and mistresses too. Due to the abuse of women in this way, the women have become callous, selfish and controlling in their own way. The Christian church coming here and teaching serial monogamy has not been the answer. This issue of African black tradition was brought to the United States when the slave population was taken there and still persists today.
Even though the European whites settled South Africa and brought a perverted form of Christianity here, the black culture has not changed since the time of Semiramis. They still worship the fertility goddess in their traditional way and still have a sexually oriented and perverted culture. That is why God has rewarded them with HIV/AIDS, etc. However, they do not get a clue. The prevalent mentality and human wisdom says, 'Be wise, condomize'. The black government is trying to put a layer of latex over the problem. I ask, as Dr. Phil might, 'How is that workin' for you?' The answer is obvious as the HIV rates continue to rise. Some estimates say that 1 in 4 black South Africans have HIV. It is not so in the white population here because they are largely from a Christian background and do not have these perverted traditions, though those who partake in sex outside of marriage are rewarded in a similar fashion for their sins.

If people would wise up with Godly wisdom and stop having sex outside marriage, gay sex, abusing drugs, etc., (which are all prevalent in the black societies throughout the world) then HIV/AIDS would drop off the face of the earth. The African-American community will not change until they can lay down the issue of pride and ditch the remnants of the Babylonian Mystery religion that started with Nimrod and Semiramis. That will not happen until someone in the Christian church grows a backbone and stops being PC enough to actually tell these people the truth and help them get a breakthrough of humility. Until then there is no real hope of change and they will continue to go around the same stupid mountain until they die. I love black people, but they do not love the truth and I can say that after trying for years to reach them with the truth. However, not many people of any race truly embrace the truth, so that pretty much covers it. Now you can stone me.

Be blessed,

Dr. Ray
 
well I have noticed some writings by black authors on polygamy. "We want for our sisters what we have for ourselves" I think is the title of a famous one. And I have heard some "rumblings" in the black muslim and black christian community lately. Of course I am white, so I am not in the "know" all that much. Perhaps this is an area we should look into. I mean we have a population who is overwelmingly church going, and has a high number of widows/single mother and frankly under current stats 1/4 of black women will NEVER marry. Of course black women are not all that likely to date outside their race, they are the least likely demographic for interracial dating( they share that spot with asian men) currently, but that is changing.
 
Back
Top