Support Don't know where to find women for my specific goals.

[LaMarcus]

I am 19 and currently navigating homelessness due to a family breakdown. And polygyny is important to me because I come from a broken family, toxicity, neglect, abuse, drugs, and alcohol, and smoking, and criminal activity, and financial irresponsibility that I have to COMPLETELY leave behind COMPLETELY and my children and grandchildren need hands to hold. They need a support a network. I'm trying to raise future LEADERS, lawyers, good doctors, business owners, and phenomenal wives and husbands who know how to keep their bag up and raise children to stick together and shoot for the stars..

I am applying to the University of Michigan, where I qualify for housing assistance, with plans to study entrepreneurship, marketing, accounting, and mechanics. My goal is to build a successful car-detailing business to break generational cycles of poverty and instability. I want to build a new family foundation rooted in faith, discipline, and mutual support.

Long-term, I desire a committed, faith-based polygynous family structure focused on legacy and raising children in a stable, Christ-centered home. I am looking for a woman or women to build this foundation with me. Lionesses to my lion pack if you will.

Most advice I received locally from the city I'm trying to escape is the opposite: “You’re young, sleep around, wait until 28, don’t think about legacy yet.” That feels like accepting mediocrity and short-term pleasure over lasting fruit. I’m not interested in that path.

I would deeply value any guidance on how young men like me with limited resources can find like-minded women who would deeply desire me and have faith in me. Not women who are looking for a finished product or a safety net. Women who want me and my mission, an empire we can share together.

Specifically, I have two questions:

1. Where should I look?
2. Can women who are initially hesitant due to cultural conditioning come to accept polygyny through relationship and deconstruction, or does it typically require someone already open to it?

 

[MeganC]

Specifically, I have two questions:

1. Where should I look?
2. Can women who are initially hesitant due to cultural conditioning come to accept polygyny through relationship and deconstruction, or does it typically require someone already open to it?

Hi, and welcome!

Before we get to your questions let's look at this:

I am 19 and currently navigating homelessness due to a family breakdown.

and this:

I am applying to the University of Michigan, where I qualify for housing assistance, with plans to study entrepreneurship, marketing, accounting, and mechanics. My goal is to build a successful car-detailing business to break generational cycles of poverty and instability.

Before you concern yourself with women you need to get your own situation in order.

You seem to be finding a way to deal with homelessness and I pray you all success.

But you came from a broken family and that leaves a mark. Trust me, I know.

I would encourage you to seek out a trusted counselor to help you sort through what went on with your family, to help you plan a path to avoid repeating their mistakes, and to help you resolve your own issues with this. I have no doubt that this left a mark on you and if you want to leave generations of mistakes behind you then this should be a priority.

I'm also going to recommend a tour in the military where you will learn discipline, you will learn much of what you want to find at UoM, and you'll also find some positive friends and positive role models. They'll pay you for this as opposed to piling on student debt which is very likely at UoM.

There are also many wise, older men here who have informed advice and they have applied this advice in their lives and in their families. I encourage you to seek them out.

Regards,

Megan

 

[LaMarcus]

Hi, and welcome!

Before we get to your questions let's look at this:



and this:



Before you concern yourself with women you need to get your own situation in order.

You seem to be finding a way to deal with homelessness and I pray you all success.

But you came from a broken family and that leaves a mark. Trust me, I know.

I would encourage you to seek out a trusted counselor to help you sort through what went on with your family, to help you plan a path to avoid repeating their mistakes, and to help you resolve your own issues with this. I have no doubt that this left a mark on you and if you want to leave generations of mistakes behind you then this should be a priority.

I'm also going to recommend a tour in the military where you will learn discipline, you will learn much of what you want to find at UoM, and you'll also find some positive friends and positive role models. They'll pay you for this as opposed to piling on student debt which is very likely at UoM.

There are also many wise, older men here who have informed advice and they have applied this advice in their lives and in their families. I encourage you to seek them out.

Regards,

Megan

I've heard about joining the military a few different times but I haven't really been given a timeline nor the benefits of doing that really broken down for me.

>"Before we get to your questions let's look at this"

And I'm just thinking ahead I'm already acting on my current circumstances and I already have a plan so that's not what I'm worried about. It's why I came and asked about what I'd do AFTER I get into the U of M WITHOUT debt btw because I qualify for Fasfa grants that I don't have to pay back. And I'm already focused on networking getting mentors and learning once I move into a better city.

Thank you for welcoming me though. <3

 

[frederick]

Greetings and welcome to Biblical Families. There's a lot of information here in the forum for you to sift through which will help answer your questions.

We are told in Proverbs 24:27, Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; And afterward build your house. It's a wise order for your life; get your work/business situation set up then establish your home. Have a solid biblical foundation for your life. Cheers

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

Greetings and welcome to Biblical Families. There's a lot of information here in the forum for you to sift through which will help answer your questions.

We are told in Proverbs 24:27, Prepare your outside work, Make it fit for yourself in the field; And afterward build your house. It's a wise order for your life; get your work/business situation set up then establish your home. Have a solid biblical foundation for your life. Cheers

Bro! That scripture is awesome! Thank you for sharing it!!

I believe it is applicable to those that do not have land as well. Focus on the things that produce for you and then later, build your house. Houses don't feed you... They are typically our place of rest and we have to pay for that!

Thanks again Frederick!

 

[steve]

Welcome!
I salute your goals and intentions, it’s good to have a vision.
I would advise that it might be shortsighted to focus on university rather than military. There are things that you would experience in the military that you will never experience in university. Don’t let the grants be your deciding factor. In fact, grants don’t contribute to your vision of accomplishment, of achieving a future through personal development.
I wish you well.

 

[MemeFan]

I's simple, you are all overcomplicating.

You need to understand your current situation and your future situation (where you want to be) in as much detail as possible.

Difference between both situations is called gap which must be overcome.

Two things matters here:

1.) Obstacles list

Ask yourself why you haven't already achieved future state. Any reason why is obstacle. Yiu must overcome every obstacle to achieve future state.


2.)Constraints list

More important list. Requires more open-ended thinking than first list.

Constraints are important because you can't go farther than them. They are limits of current system.

For example, one key reason men don't find girlfiend/wife is because they don't meet enough women. Assuming 80% are taken and from free only 20% are worth something, well, math says only 4% are worth something. So every 25th girl. So if meet one women per week, you will have to wait around half a year to find something decent.

With such constraint (meeting one woman per week) you have to reorganize life in order to lift constrant. Sometimes total reorganization is needed.

The reason rest of world tells you to meet more women is because you don't know what you want. Only by experimentally meeting woman you will find what you realllllly like and want.

For example, people here like to talk about submission in women. But very submissive women are passive women. They don't try new things and have zero ambition. Do you want to be one doing everything new in relationship? Or maybe you would actually prefer more ambitious, self starting girl? Well ambitious girls do demand more from you. Are you willing to pay price?

 

[UtahLife]

Hi, and welcome!

Before we get to your questions let's look at this:



and this:



Before you concern yourself with women you need to get your own situation in order.

He was told this on Reddit and just tried to shut everyone down with comments like

"If you read my post thoroughly dating doesn't start until I move out of the city I'm currently in and I'm in college.

I'm playing CHESS not checkers. I'm thinking ahead. This post isn't about what I'm already working on, it's about what I do after so I can continue moving relentlessly instead of stopping and thinking. This post was about future strategy, not a request for basic advice on things I'm already handling.":

https://www.reddit.com/r/Polygamy/comments/1veq6jo/19m_need_help_navigating_where_to_find_suitable

And his other thread:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Polygamy/comments/1v73ve2/19m_if_i_dont_have_to_be_old_and_wealthy_to_be

 

[frederick]

For example, people here like to talk about submission in women. But very submissive women are passive women. They don't try new things and have zero ambition.

That might be true for some, however in the Bible women are commanded to submit to their husbands. It is written in Ephesians 5:22, Wive submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Also in 1 Peter 3:1, Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands... . An ambitious woman who is a Christian will be submissive because she is obeying the Word of God. If she refuses to obey the Word of God, there are going to be many other battles you will also have to deal with.

 

[steve]

I's simple, you are all overcomplicating.

You need to understand your current situation and your future situation (where you want to be) in as much detail as possible.

Difference between both situations is called gap which must be overcome.

Two things matters here:

1.) Obstacles list

Ask yourself why you haven't already achieved future state. Any reason why is obstacle. Yiu must overcome every obstacle to achieve future state.


2.)Constraints list

More important list. Requires more open-ended thinking than first list.

Constraints are important because you can't go farther than them. They are limits of current system.

For example, one key reason men don't find girlfiend/wife is because they don't meet enough women. Assuming 80% are taken and from free only 20% are worth something, well, math says only 4% are worth something. So every 25th girl. So if meet one women per week, you will have to wait around half a year to find something decent.

With such constraint (meeting one woman per week) you have to reorganize life in order to lift constrant. Sometimes total reorganization is needed.

The reason rest of world tells you to meet more women is because you don't know what you want. Only by experimentally meeting woman you will find what you realllllly like and want.

For example, people here like to talk about submission in women. But very submissive women are passive women. They don't try new things and have zero ambition. Do you want to be one doing everything new in relationship? Or maybe you would actually prefer more ambitious, self starting girl? Well ambitious girls do demand more from you. Are you willing to pay price?

23The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
If you are dependent on the world’s statistics, it would behoove you to study the Word a bit more closely.
As far as submitted/submissive wives, I find your assumption to be incorrect.

 

[MemeFan]

23The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.
If you are dependent on the world’s statistics, it would behoove you to study the Word a bit more closely.
As far as submitted/submissive wives, I find your assumption to be incorrect.

LOL, from when qouting Scripture overides reality?

I don't believe in statistics. But math does describe reality starting from physics.

Practical example: If you want to earn 1M dollars years and average contract is 1000 dollars, bow much contracts do I need to do in order to achieve my goal? And then doing basic math can check is it possible to fullfil 1000 contracts yearly.

And do expect I may need to meet, potentially, hundreds of women because most women are already taken and my specific requirements.

 

[MemeFan]

That might be true for some, however in the Bible women are commanded to submit to their husbands. It is written in Ephesians 5:22, Wive submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Also in 1 Peter 3:1, Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands... . An ambitious woman who is a Christian will be submissive because she is obeying the Word of God. If she refuses to obey the Word of God, there are going to be many other battles you will also have to deal with.

Did it ever occured to you that trying to follow Scripture blind can make problem worse?

You were here on this forum when I was explaining that non-attractive husband will have serious issues with getting obedience from his wife because her biology is against obeying him.

Ambitious woman and content man are match made by Satan, even if they are both Christians and obeying Scripture. No quoting Scripture can help situation where she wants to improve her situation, while husband doesn't want and actively sabotages her. That's recepture for "unhappy wife, shitty life".

Obvious solution is her as six-figure income breadwinner and him as greek god model stay at home dad, but you all would scream this is against nature since he isn't provider. LOL

In answer to @steve I mentioned my specific requirements. Well, EU is at same time breaking apart and becoming Brussels dictature. So there is real I may have to leave Europe because I can't living in dictature. I want woman to follow me, not one who desires staying with her friends and family (from parents side). Even if she obeys, do you think breaking wife's heart is great idea?

 

[Man_in_the_Middle]

...

In answer to @steve I mentioned my specific requirements. Well, EU is at same time breaking apart and becoming Brussels dictature. So there is real I may have to leave Europe because I can't living in dictature. I want woman to follow me, not one who desires staying with her friends and family (from parents side). Even if she obeys, do you think breaking wife's heart is great idea?

Her broken heart will mend... My wife's did when we moved away from family. It was the BEST thing we could have done. After the heart mended, we are closer together than ever before.

 

[steve]

LOL, from when qouting Scripture overides reality?

Scripture IS my reality.
Sorry about yours.

 

[frederick]

Did it ever occured to you that trying to follow Scripture blind can make problem worse?

Definitely. When one person in a relationship becomes a Christian and the other does not, conflict can result in the non-Christian wanting to leave. God specifically allows for the unbeliever to leave. 1 Cor. 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.

Ambitious woman and content man are match made by Satan, even if they are both Christians and obeying Scripture.

Hahaha, not true. Satan doesn't want people to obey scripture, but God does. A man and woman united in marriage and living in obedience to Holy Scripture is exactly what God wants and is what He blesses.

 

[frederick]

Scripture IS my reality.

Same.

 

[MemeFan]

Definitely. When one person in a relationship becomes a Christian and the other does not, conflict can result in the non-Christian wanting to leave. God specifically allows for the unbeliever to leave. 1 Cor. 7:15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.


Hahaha, not true. Satan doesn't want people to obey scripture, but God does. A man and woman united in marriage and living in obedience to Holy Scripture is exactly what God wants and is what He blesses.

From when having incompatible life goals makes for happy marriage?

Any human relationship in order to be sustainable must give it's participants what they want and need. Having incompatible life goals means somebody won't getting what they want. Naturally, they will want out.

Nothing is sustainable if people want out.

 

[MemeFan]

Her broken heart will mend... My wife's did when we moved away from family. It was the BEST thing we could have done. After the heart mended, we are closer together than ever before.

Maybe. I don't deny your experience. I just don't believe it's universal.

Fundamentally, it's about values. And values change rarely, so what happens is that conflict never gets resolved. It always stays in background.

Reason for marriage between believers and other cases of similar people is reduction in number of conflicts which makes marriage more enjoyable.

 

[MemeFan]

Scripture IS my reality.
Sorry about yours.

But Scripture can't override math. Sorry.

Imagine situation. Man wants wife. He prays and fasts for it. Lord approves.

But man lives as loner. He meets exactly zero woman during next year. So, hard math and logical question? What is his probability of finding of him getting married. Exactly zero.

Lord doesn't teleport potential wives into man's bed. No, man must search. And man who refuses to search won't get wife no matter what his faith says.

Why I'm feeling all of you are like bunch of French claiming elan,elan just before charging 10+ machine guns? Like morale magically stops bullets.

 

[steve]

But Scripture can't override math. Sorry.

Imagine situation. Man wants wife. He prays and fasts for it. Lord approves.

But man lives as loner. He meets exactly zero woman during next year. So, hard math and logical question? What is his probability of finding of him getting married. Exactly zero.

Lord doesn't teleport potential wives into man's bed. No, man must search. And man who refuses to search won't get wife no matter what his faith says.

Why I'm feeling all of you are like bunch of French claiming elan,elan just before charging 10+ machine guns? Like morale magically stops bullets.

Ask @Joleneakamama how their math worked out.
I have three and a half wives and I don’t date. Never meet girls. As a trucker I see plenty of them, but I only want the ones that Yah brings me.
You can put your math where the sun don’t shine, I choose to walk with Yah.